Sitting here i feel the breeze
Slowly softly touch my skin
I think of the fingers that will do the same
Closing my eyes to feel the warmth
As the sun wraps my body
I think of the arms that will keep me warm
Hearing the sounds of life all around verifying there still is life
I think of his voice giving me life
I long to feel the safety again
To know he will be the one to keep me safe
That the days will be better
When I can fall apart in his arms
That he will be the one to quiet the storm
To slay the demons and monsters
That his promise is his goal
I have learned to fight alone
To face my fears and stand tall
To stand with pride and honor
To say I was the best me I can be
I haven't given up even when I wanted to
I have not shown weakness
I have survived
Longing to feel him is hard
Wanting something you don't have hurts
Everyday I strive to make him and myself proud
When he finally comes into my world
I will stand with pride before I kneel
when I finally kneel
It will be the ultimate surrender
The gift of all of me
To the one whom I'm looking for I can only hope you will see that.
The past month has taught me so much about myself. Endless hours of work to save people, staying strong and positive as others fall apart. Being the smile and joy for others or the encouraging word they need. This has all taught me how much I need my rock. How I need someone to let go of it all and just forget. I genuinely missed writing and blogging I forgot the escape it gave me. I missed some of my submissive rituals I did on my own to keep me grounded. I am trying to get back into the routines of being a good sub for my future whoever. I have been fighting a war against an invisible enemy with my coworkers and its left me battered and torn. It also gave me the gift of learning who I am and what I need. I lost 21 souls in under a month, watched countless others get the virus and somehow I still have not gotten it. I never thought it would be something like this to show me who I really am. I see every day now as one more chance.
Phe 💙
