I am not looking for someone who is perfect. I not looking for a man with a great career, a huge mansion, three cars, etc. To me, it is important that he is a genuinely good person. Consistent with his words and his actions. Someone who can be there for me at the end of a rough day without me having to worry that he may not. That constant connection that will eventually lead to a fulfilling, loving relationship. It has to be real and true - to him and myself.
I feel valued when I am seen for who I am as a person, vs. being desired for physical appearances. When I am heard and my partner actually understands instead of just listens. The greatest gift someone can give to me is the acknowledgment of my capabilities, being caring and attentive. I love kisses, hugs, cuddles and special words whispered into my ear. That feeling of being protected and adored in someone else’s arms. At the same time, I want to be his favorite time/moment of the day.
I love to hear “I love you” – especially if the feeling is mutual. What’s even better is if that person actually shows me and puts actions behind those three meaningful words.
I understand that everything in life takes time. Oftentimes, I get the feeling that I am behind in life, but life is not a competition, it’s an experience. I’m right on time and should focus on enjoying the journey rather than focusing on my goals.
Disappointments happen. A broken heart is hard to heal. Emotional distress is challenging and sometimes I have to accept that I am not getting the closure I desire. There’s no “magic pill” that makes me feel better. I’m not just my feelings and I can’t control everything situation in my life or what someone may say or do to me. However, what I can control is my reaction to it. One thing I have to keep in mind is: If someone treats me poorly, that is a reflection of their character, not mine. I believe that most people are good. I know that “people are not out to get me”. They might deal with their own demons and struggles. As Louise Hays said: “They were doing the best they could with what they had been taught”. I believe that which is why I’m going to work on being kind to people even when I feel like they are not kind to me.
In closing, I need to learn to not look at my worth based on how other people see or interact with me but to be confident in myself: Who I am, my personality, my looks, and especially all my imperfections and flaws. While I know that I can improve on certain personality traits, I am a worthy, capable, kind person.
It’s about self-approval and acceptance, taking the first step (no matter how small it is), and knowing that no one has any power over me.