In my earlier blog, I was reminiscing about being paddled in school. Then I went in deeper thougt and realized that since childhood I was a submissive and my mother a domme.
Which is a fucked.up way of.looking at it. But it all makes.sense. when I didnt do.something to her liking or do what I was told, I got a beating with a belt. Sometimes the belt will soak in warm or hot water for a few minutes. She would then tell.me to take off my clothes, get on my knees between her legs. She would then wrap her legs around me where I couldn't move and commence whooping my ass. After each ass whooping like that, I either did things right or if it was something I did wrong, made sure It didn't happen again. like when I received bad grades in elementary school. Got my ass beat and my grades improved since then. Even when I was living in Tenn, I was beat with switch then told to take a bath.
But as I got.older those beatings were no longer effective for me and she didn't like the fact I was starting to find my voice. I would speak up I would get smacked in the mouth or hit with something. Which in turn silenced me. She did alot.to keep me silenced for so long. If I didnt.do what she wanted when she wanted, something got taken away with or without my knowledge. Or set me up.for a traumatic experience which she had.done ass well.
I couldn't wait to move out, she was even trying to take my sons away to.keep me in line.
Even though i forgave her my own peace of mind., I hope she's suffering and paying for her crimes in the afterlife.