A Cloud(sub female){Owned}

A moment and then another

I only exist in the space of the other. My strength, my joy, my love - We are the moments we share.

I have no title, no absolutes, no fixed adornment. I am not submissive in the sense that it is in me and absent in another. I am what I am at the time that I am. I am submissive to all and to no one. I submit to the world in complete faith of its wisdom, acceptance, love and deliverance.

I cannot be defined in absolutes but can be labelled with qualifiers just for common understanding and no more - ever disrupting, ever changing, ever subsiding, ever becoming.

I grow into another and another. Or is it that I strip down to become less and less.

I've heard "let it go" too many times

2 years ago. April 7, 2023 at 7:30 PM

Why do I still care?

When I so desperately want to let go of other's opinions, judgements, jokes

Why can't I let it go?

How do I let it go when it always feels like I'm right back in the same place, doing the same thing -

Caring

Worrying

Crying

I'm always so angry with myself for trying and failing, for letting myself hurt, for trying to take advice or fix me

The last thing I need is advice

Always trying, trying, trying

I need me to stop being so mean to myself

But I don't know how

I don't know how to love myself the way I need to be loved

And I don't know how to filter what I care and don't want to care about.

I don't know much and I feel so much

I feel crazy

Please don't tell me to "let it go". It's all so very easy to say but very frustrating when I feel stuck, which is often.

K y i v{Walking} - I wrestle with as well cloud. Feeling people do.

2 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - I can only share what I did. What worked for *ME* was to stop trying to fix everything all at once. I took one thing, for example how I spoke about myself, and change it. I had the habit of self-deprication. After every mistake, every faux paux, every poor reaction, I self-hate: "Why was I so stupid?" "I'm fucked up!" "I'm worthless".

When I would speak to myself, ruminating over something that happened, I started to imagine what I'd say if a friend was talking about themself like that to me. What would I say to THEM? Would I say those things? "Oh my God! You are so stupid!".....no, I wouldn't.

I started to speak to MYSELF in the same way I'd speak to a friend. Over time, I discovered just how often I was a horrible friend to myself. For ME, it was a pivotal change.

2 years ago

Curiousmind(sub female) - Because you are a human, Cloud ?
Good advice from Sirsbabydoll.
Being kind to yourself is a key

2 years ago

Umberlee{AH/Savage} - The world is hard enough, be kind to yourself- you are enough! Self doubt is an indicator you are capable of growth. Remember when you plant a seed - it is “stuck” in the ground. Another metaphor to what you are doing. You don’t yell at the seed to grow. You give it what it needs and it does it on its own time. Patience with yourself and with those that who don’t understand with there stupid jokes and judgements. That crap is just fertilizer. (Ok sticking with the plant motif).

2 years ago

A Cloud(sub female){Owned} - Thanks for the love ❤️

2 years ago

Bunnie - Rather than “let it go,” I try to just “sit with it.” It’s super uncomfortable, but it’s in learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, that I’ve found my greatest strength.

2 years ago

A Cloud(sub female){Owned} - Wise words Bunny. I think that will work for me - thanks

2 years ago

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A Cloud​(sub female)​{Owned}

A moment and then another

I've heard "let it go" too many times

A Cloud(sub female){Owned}