Excuse me! I'm talking

Yup I did it. I wrote those lovely little words....

You do not have permission to publish anything without my permission. 

What you say, why would you do it? How can you? What were you thinking?

I was thinking I that I don't know you. I also thought you don't know me. Why not any way. I can, I did and then.....nothing. Silence. It was so quiet like someone turned off the world. Poof they were gone.

I wasn't trying to hook you. I wasn't trying to swoon you. I was wanting to make sure you are real. I wanted to know that the lovely lady I was speaking to was someone, someone I wanted to get to know. For your safety but mine too, let's adult. Put the big pants on and make sure. Nope

How often does this happen were that feeling of I really need to be more careful come to mind. It truly is just a question. But that's what I fo for a living. I ask questions, I solve problems. Why can't I do it and why aren't we all doing it. 

I have read blog after blog. Honestly it feels all I do with my life is read others blogs.

My history is before the CAGE you couldn't find me on the net. Common name, no Facebook (ugh) living a life of solitude. I read some great kink blogs but most things I looked for were  on Amazon. Walmart check out. That's it!

So the CAGE changed that. My interest in others has changed. I do enjoy a good blog to get to know someone. The how to message me. Don't go to point D. Start at point A. Don't message hi. Intrigue me. No DICK picks, this doesn't work for them but works for others. Man, so complicated. 

See then the questions arise, how often does the DICK PICK WORK? It's still being done. Who's not saying no. Where's that blog? Why don't they advertise? More questions. 

If all your messaging is hi, why doesn't that work.  What if they are not shy but reserved? It's not a DICK PICK. Are they showing restraint? More questions. 

Protocols,  see now that's a question for the novice like me. Your an O.G. of the lifestyle. I read about protocols. I did, I want to use them. I desire to use them. I won't message a collared (taken) if I get a message I ask permission. Then they say it's fine, they know (no worries) But I read, wondering, questioning myself. The old guard said this is the way. 

This is the way. Best line ever! Really that should be said everyday by everyone all the time. 😆

I genuinely want to know you. That's me! All the time. I want to have proper vetting. I will be respectful.  That's me hopefully all the time. But that's not everyone is it. Some want to be degraded right away. So just say so. Put it out there. That's why we have profiles, blogs to get to know one another. Good or bad.

I believe the ghosting isn't always intentional. Life, new toys and everything in between happens. I don't think all went out of there way including myself to ghost anyone. When you have 5 minutes and someone new chimed in and you have one message to write,  well I have to make a decision. I want to keep in touch with everyone. The messages pile up. They all sound like great people. Friendships are being made but this might be my next babygirl. What to do.

Holy moly I didn't know my brain had so much to say. Guess I'm not mysterious anymore. FUCK that was my go to move.

Back to my rambling. Collars..... you want one, mine is shiny. Come on and get you some😄  All jokes aside I'm reserving that for one. Maybe two at the most. That's me. You do you. The blogs about collars interest me. I have one for sale by owner. I can't help it and yes I take it seriously. I want a ceremony and all the stuff that goes with it but it would be a long time before I hand one out if ever. But you do you. 

Thanks for reading, I started getting off topic so have a great day and may the kink be with you.  This is the WAY!

When does it turn into stalking. Really when? When you send them too many messages or have time on your hands to write and they don't. How much is too much? My uncurious mind wants to know. Do you message people but gravitate toward one person more than another? No expectations given or recieved so is it stalking?

What if it's purely platonic and yes I had to spell check platonic. How often do you use that word? really how often? 

I enjoy keeping in touch with those that show some interest in who I am. I am not an instant gratification machine. I have feelings or had them in my 20's  at least. I am not on here everyday or I don't think I am. I'd like to believe I am doing other things but  probably not. 

I have such a hard time making friends because of my winning  personality😉 (insert laughter here) So if I'm gravitating toward someone and enjoy their messages whenever they get a chance to respond is it stalking or is my paranoia kicking in. I'm going dwell in my bunker now. No seriously I am not paranoid.

Yes if you're wondering this is just a question, I haven't stalked anyone for a few months but she really liked it.

 So I've been reading the blogs of some very smart, sassy and educated people. Unlike myself they have a way with words that I envy and wish to duplicate. I'm not going to do that because well my tongue is only good for two things and writing isn't one of them. 

I've noticed a change in the writing as if walls are going up or even feelings are getting hurt. These submissive ladies seem to have let their guard down at some point and someone has took that courage, the trust, whatever the right words (insert here) they are saying stop. Hard limit, pass if you will. I really enjoy most of the Sub's writing. Can we please just get back to them writing wonderful antidots. 

I'm the creepy guy in the corner just watching and having a relaxing drink. Taking it all in, one gorgeous word and picture at a time. I make small but hopefully respectful comments here and there. So if I'm wrong you can call me out but I really can say I don't give a fuck. I want my fuckin eye candy back. 

So let's get back to resecting them and stop jumping from one shiny object to another.

I decided time was on my side with work so I went down to local dispensire and smoked some. Now as I try to eat a nutty bar and smoke a cigarette at the same time I asked myself if this what I really want? Not at all. I desire my babygirl. I need her mentally.  What is about her that I'm missing.

 Her being at my feet, kneeling waiting for her collar. Thanking me for putting it on for her. Patiently waiting for my instruction. She has been a good girl lately. I decide she deserves a treat, her butt plug then. I tell her to bend on the bed with her already knowing to pull her cheeks apart for my inspection. I kiss one cheek and lube her butt at the same time. She flinches when I start to stretch her so I swat her cheek with a back hand then bring my palm to rest on her. She uses her words now to ask for more with my permission. 

 After fitting it snug in her I lay her down and tell my babygirl how nice she looks for me. She is so wet but I just scoop her into my arms and hold her. So precious to me. So needed and wanted always. She starts rubbing on my chest, rolling her fingers in my chest hair. How she loves gazing at me, my body is something she finds beautiful. My gray is showing and my Resting bitch face turns into a smile. I'd like to think I smile more when I'm with her. 

 She is training well, following every word that rolls off my tongue. We start with her right nipple, it's the most sensitive. I squeeze and clamp with some sucking involved. I play with her not being allowed to orgasm unless told otherwise. Her inner thighs were running with wax all over them. The electric wand was closer to her delicates than any other time. It's always enjoyable to wand her nipples. After I orgasm I use the vibe with two heads, slipping one onto her gspot. She uses the other while I play her gspot like an instrument. After some denial she has ripple after ripple which I always enjoyed. All the while finally, slowly removing her plug.

 We lay their seemingly forever. Freezing, sweating and twisted into each other.

That's what I wanted, not another cigarette or nutty bar. Ugh, what's wrong with me. What a horrible combination! I'm going to grab some ice cream and make a ham with mashed potatoes. Don't forget the green beans. 

As I stood in the shower, lights were off and the hot water running over me when my mind just let go. She was on her knees, "Sir may I". Her head against my thigh, arms wrapped around my leg. She finally let the day go. "You may". She put soap on her hands and takes my balls in her right hand. She washes them and reaches back to scrub my cheeks, butt and the soft spot between my balls and ass. Her left hand is soaped up and lathers my dick, then she slowly strokes it but with a reverse hand gesture. Almost like a pulling technique, mind is starting go a little deeper

I haven't named her yet. I've tried so many times in the past but none sounded correct. I would use her previous names for a few weeks trying to make it work in my mind. They just wouldn't fit. 

She pulls the shower head down and starts to rinse me. The hot water with the pressure makes me flinch. So many sensations for a dick that's had it's fair share of use. Makes me pull away a little but her arms keep me from moving to far. She runs the water down my legs and around to my backside and in between my ass cheeks. Being vigilante to  get all of the soap off of me. She then turns it upwards "Sir may I", "yes you may" Who are you?

No name in return. It's pulling me back to reality. What is her name. At times she's a down right pain in the ass. She fights with me one week, she adores me everyday. I ask for the simplest of protocols and it seems difficult to remember some fuckin eggs. I've spanked her, made her write essays. Yelled at her, cared for her. Forgiven her. Loved her. She lied again WTF. What is your name!!!!

She takes me into her mouth. The shower head directed at my balls and taint. The sensation is crippling. Her mouth is warm and wet. Like that good pussy after you have her worked up, begging for it. Pleading with you to fuck her. Yeh that pussy. Some good, FAT pussy. Her mouth is amazing. my toes are curling slightly. I allow her to use the shower head on herself but is told she may only cumm with me, together. "Do as your told my"

WTF! is your name. Pain in the ass. she's a masochist. Or is she? She likes others being forced hurt even. She is multi orgasmic after punishment. It's simple, let me show you how I would like it done, Why'd you do it that way? Let me show you again. I don't wish to raise my voice in anger. To the room so I can spank your bottom. You spent how much money. WTF! You aren't a slave and this isn't about being a brat. Your everything wrapped up into one thing. I'm strong enough for her. I'm not trying to break her. Bend her, make her more flexible.

I'm am close now. I feel it wanting to release. I allow her to finally cum so I can feel her mouth get wetter. Her lips are pulsating and she slows down. I like that just before cumming. She strokes me into her mouth as my mind starts to be fixated on one point. Time stands still for those moments. My right leg buckles a bit from the waves that are flowing from us both. Such a good pussy mouth she has. 

I'll name you next time. Maybe

This is my very first online post so have patience. Writing is something I've done when I was young, youthful and full of meaning. Now I'm older with a narrow view of the world. Skewed even one might say from the toils of work and the ups and downs of growing up. But happening through another come and go relationship I came across something by happenstance.
Honesty. Again I repeat honesty. The short story is that we parted ways on a good note. No hard feelings on either part. That's all a lie. We have never spoken again and I truthfully couldn't tell you what her life has been like 15 years or so later. That's the truth. The whole truth.
Now I do lie but only so few a time. I actually dip my toe into what I call the grey area more then anything. Be it work or friends or even family. Why does the truth have to be so hard. Why can it not flow off the tongue with gentle ease. I'm sure someone smarter then me can explain it but that's for another day.
So my whole point to all this is honesty needs aftercare. I haven't had to administer aftercare as most of you would come to know the term but do practice honesty more then most would find. It's unpleasant, not easy, hard, not as much fun but it does require aftercare.
When you tell someone the truth in a relationship such as I'm not wanting a relationship that doesn't mean that's it. I find that people get to hide behind their truth. I told you is not a proper response. Listening and understanding the other while still being honest about something is the aftercare. I've watched people find honesty after years of lying (years) They believe it's like a vow of chastity after years of enjoying themselves sexually. Taking the time to explain yourself, not brushing people off, ghosting them is the hardest part.
Now this is from a guy who spent his life in vanilla relationships. I haven't had the hard aftercare except my words. I'm the fly on the wall in this space. So what do I know.
Gabriel