Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?
When I think back, it’s funny how many little moments were hinting at where I’d eventually land. At the time I had no idea, of course… I just thought it was me being dramatic, or obsessed with certain tropes in books. But looking back? Yeah… those were the early signs.
For starters, I was always hooked on storylines with authority figures, structure, and someone being taken care of in this really intense way. Wattpad was my kryptonite, and while most of my friends were reading sweet high school romances, I was devouring the ones where there was a “strict” love interest who demanded respect, laid down rules, and punished bratty behaviour. That mix of power and tenderness was magnetic to me.
Even outside of reading, I remember how much I liked the idea of being “kept in check.” Not in a scary way…more like the thrill of someone noticing my attitude and being like, “Nope, not on my watch.” It gave me this delicious mix of butterflies and safety. I couldn’t explain why it felt good, I just knew it made me feel… seen.
Another clue was how much I loved being cared for in small, almost childlike ways. I’d get attached to mentors, teachers, or older figures who showed me patience and gentleness. The part of me that melts at the idea of a Daddy Dom today? Yeah, that was always there, tucked under the surface. I didn’t know what to call it, but I knew I craved guidance and protection, even while pretending to be independent.
There were also all these little things I brushed off as quirks at the time. Like how fascinated I was with rules… I’d roll my eyes at them, pretend to hate them, but secretly I thrived on the structure. Or how obsessed I was with characters in books or movies who were called “little one” or “princess” in this protective-but-firm way
I didn’t think of any of this as kink at the time…I mean, which teenager was? But now, when I connect the dots, it’s so clear that all those little fixations were the building blocks. They hinted at the submissive side of me, at my craving for structure, at my desire to be cared for but also challenged.
Looking back now, I kind of laugh at myself. Like, of course I ended up here. The signs were written all over my teenage obsessions. It wasn’t random… it was me, all along, quietly gravitating toward exactly the kind of dynamic that makes me feel alive today.
Xoxo
Nirvana