Allie’s Space

A few things have popped up that has opened my eyes. I noticed that I was a single woman that is “married” to her job, family, and college. 

I have admittedly come face to face with the disasters of my own decisions. For one, time management, it’s horrible. I lack in that department very much that it is costing me more than what I have thought. Financial management is also a problem here. I have been working two jobs to figure out how I can sustain myself. Budgeting isn’t a thing. I don’t have a day off, especially for the people I care about. I’m available all day, everyday for work and college, but not people. 

I have come to a conclusion that I must move on from my jobs to have one stable job with set hours and higher pay. Otherwise, nothing can be fixed. 

When that happens, it will all fall in place because I will be able to sleep and wake up at certain times and work my way around it all. Also budgeting will be an option since I know what I will be making and not relying on tips.

I found a job through a friend and hopefully all will fall into place soon. 

FYI this is not a BDSM related blog, however, it can be taken into consideration when one lags about completing a task ;) 

Punctuality is a necessary habit that must be taught to every person as early as possible. Without it nothing could ever end, everything would be in a state of chaos. It is the mark of a civilized society. It has been rightly called ‘the soul of business’.

In the ordinary living there can be some tolerance of unpunctuality. But it is hard for some people to waste time, so they are often tempted to finish a job before setting out to keep an appointment. If no accidents occur on the way, like punctured tires, diversion of traffic, etc. they will be on time. To be on time is a great quality which is unfortunately not a lot of people possess.

In our daily life, we have to attend to various types of business. This brings us in contact with other people. If we are late, this may cause annoyance and/or worry to them. Punctuality is the key to get success in life. Without it, our life may be a great failure. Hence, we must be punctual to taste the wonderful achievements of life.

It is said that time is money time once gone never returns. Hence, make the best effort of time at your disposal to be punctual. Sometimes people lose the golden opportunity in life due to being late by a few minutes. If you are catching a train, it is always better to be comfortably early than even a fraction of a minute too late. When one is comfortable and isn’t a mess, they attend with grace and mostly with a better attitude towards their destination.

It is not an easy thing to be punctual all the time. Life gets in the way at times. I am a college student that used to be on time all the time until I just got exhausted and stopped caring. I used to always arrive at my destinations or submit assignments as early as I can, I wouldn’t wait until it was the due date to submit anything. If I was supposed to be out the door at a certain time to arrive assuming everything goes well on the road, I will still leave at least fifteen minutes earlier than the time I need. As I said, it gets mentally and physically exhausting. It requires one to exert all the energy to regulate his life, that is if he wants to be punctual in every business. Unpunctuality invites trouble and anxiety – which are all unnecessary negativity to allow yourself to deal with. It is said, “A stitch in time saves nine.” A punctual person and keeps his appointment sure to be held in high esteem by others whether it was at work, school, family, and friends. Everyone will know one is trustworthy because he keeps his words and if any harm went his way, they will know something is not right.

Hence there is no alternative of this quality and it must be nourished by every human being right from the very beginning. Once George Washington told his secretary, “Sir, either you must get a new watch, or I must get a new secretary” The example clearly shows the value of punctuality.

Punctuality is necessary in a civilized and cultured world because it is the base of its all-round development.

This is going to be short and simple. 

Trust the gut feeling you get from someone, whether it was online or in real life. If you get a negative feeling, excuse yourself politely and never look back. If you get a good feeling, don't try to mess with it, you can attempt to tinker and test it (Something I do), which is your right to be careful and you should be. However, follow your gut if it tells you that person is the one. :) 

Just take it slow, its the best pace. It will open your eyes to more aspects of the relationship (whether it was a love interest or not). You will get to know the person in front of you and the person within you better than what you have thought. :) 

You and I walk and talk, 

You and I laugh and play, 

You tie me as I am your canvas, 

You fuck me because I am your fucktoy,

My body and orifices are yours and you aren't even mine.

I am being led by an invisible leash

Only if I were officially yours

Wear your bruises and collar as my badge with pride like I have conquered a battle

However, every "battle" with you is paradise and hell

As he wrapped my body, 

With red ribbons bounding my wrists 

Harnessing my body, 

Like I was his little gift.

I was breathing heavily,

unable to speak as my mouth was obstructed 

A ball gag, in my mouth, that kept me from talking.

Palms were pressed and bound against each other as if I were praying 

Yes, I was praying to him, begging for his mercy.

I WAS under his mercy.

He saw it in my eyes,

My eyes were the only way for me to express anything,

For him to know what I needed, 

As they were filled with so much desire.

Desperate ... 

for so many sensations ...

for so many emotions ...

Desperate for his touch ... 

the sound of his hand across my ass ...

the burning feeling my ass cheeks feel as they get spanked ... 

Feeling the blood flow against my red ass ...

Desperate for his grip on my throat 

knowing that I am able to breathe 

only when he lets me to gasp for air

he puts me in my place,

pulls my hair, spits in my mouth. 

The adrenaline high I felt 

was a first ... 

hopefully not a last. 

I have been losing my words, my thoughts, my mind

When one says such words, some assume that the individual has become a lunatic. 

Well, I cannot say that I haven't thought that I have gone mad,

But until yesterday, so much started to make sense to me. 

I have always been an oppressor,

A tyrant that hasn't oppressed anyone but for my soul, my body, me. 

I have been one to give and not get back.

Never wanted to be the one who denies anyone's happiness. 

But I have denied mine.

For years.

Denying my desires,

denying myself to be who I am, living in denial ... living a lie. 

How? 

I have denied allowing that kindle of flame within me to grow, 

Not allowing my body to quench its thirst, 

an unquenchable thirst for that "right person,"

Not to say I haven't found the "right person," maybe more than I expected,

however, none was alpha enough for me. 

Desiccated,

Dehydrated,

Dying, 

however, at times I allow myself for a sip here and there,

And within every sip, I get a jolt enough to ignite my fire again.

Desire burns within me,

Fire amongst my ribs, sensing the burn, 

the smoke rising up,

clouding my eyes, 

clouding my judgment,

an Inferno. 

Being a burn victim, 

with an unrecognizably burnt personality

is very complicated to handle

as I see the sympathy in other's eyes

and hear it in their voices,

Most know me in my dehydrated state 

And some see the one with all the fire burning inside out

Insatiable, wanting more of an alpha, more of domination

but unable to be full or content with what I'm receiving. 

I have a very independent and dominating personality

Strong enough to deny me,

I will have a hard time finding the "right person"

someone I can sense his control and love

All in a precise balance,

I am dominated, because my insides are telling me to submit, not for fun

I am loved, despite my internal scars due to previous burns and will not change.

Allow my fire to grow

as much as it wants

without being put out

to become an inferno 

The urge to feel your skin against mine is burning me alive. 

The need to feel your breath against my neck is making me breathless. 

The fire of your passion is needed to thaw my frozen heart.

Craving the sting of your palm against my ass cheek. 

Craving your voice telling me to “hold it!” When Im at my peak.

Was in so much anticipation to explore each other.  

I am at a peak, but instead of releasing in pleasure, I’m collapsing in pain.  

When have I become too overwhelmed that I cannot focus on one thought or topic at a time?

When did I become so confused about who I am? 

When did I become clueless about what I have wanted? 

When did I start a war with myself? 

Yes .. a war. How? 

My upbringing was extremely strict, remains strict till this very second. 

I was raised with so many rules that pertained to either religion, family values or traditions. 

All of which I do not feel that I care about. 

However, when I admit it, it is when I start a war with myself. 

A warrior in disguise against everything I was raised to be.

It has been about 9 hours since Daddy left the house.

I have done my chores, homework, colored pictures and have done the tasks that Daddy gave me.

I looked at the time frequently throughout the day and it felt like time was dragging.

I was waiting for Daddy to come back from work. I'm getting very impatient. I'm becoming a grumpy kitten.

**I heard the front door unlock** 

I felt instantly all so bubbly, cuddly and loving. In need to purr, wiggle my tail and curl up in his lap while he played with my tail and ears. I wanted to lick his hand as he caress my face. 

Daddy smiled all so wide when he saw me so happy with my kitten gear on and my collar bell ringing as I hurry towards the front door. However, Daddy seemed a bit tired, I didn't want to bother him, so I cuddled next to him after he sat on the couch. 

Butterflies were in my stomach, a chaos and overwhelming amount of joy and feelings grew in my mind and heart as the heat of his hand and body touched my body. It was such a good and comforting feeling. I wished if he would feel how I feel about him. It is very hard to explain emotions so intense like that. Words aren't descriptive enough. 

It felt like all of my "independent woman" characteristics have been thrown out the window in a split second with no looking back. All I am is Daddy's kitten. I belong only to Daddy and my sole purpose in life is to please him in every way that he wants. 

Ugh how beautiful it feels to be Daddy's property and in his arms. Knowing that I am his and his alone. Knowing that he loves me so much. He protects me, supports me and he refuses to share me as I am his.

Although I might go through some pain due to a punishment, or funishment. I don't worry when he is here.

His presence, his punishment, his voice, his warmth, he is everything I need to make me high. So does catnip. *Meow*