Confession time: I’m a word nerd. (What do you mean you already knew!?) Ultimate confession time? I love reading the dictionary... Yes, I’m really that bad! I get lost in them and their myriad of meanings. So if someone has a good grasp of vocab, I immediately sit up and pay attention. Now, if that person also has the ability to use correct grammar and punctuation in such a way as to emphasise a point, well just insert a drooling heart-pounding melting puddle of me at your feet...
I’m old school, traditional in my beliefs, values, morals and standards, always looking for a way to go back to the days when men were gentlemen and women were ladies and what went on behind closed doors was primal. I recently told my closest friend in the gentlest way I could who I really am. She was so shocked! There was the “but you always dress so modestly”, then the “but you’re always in control” (which I thought was hysterically funny because she had assumed for me the role of Domme!). She’s a badass biker babe who drives trucks for a living who I’d be terrified of if I met down a dark alley, but she’s also one of the kindest and softest people I know who needs a lot of help and turns to me for it all the time. So I used her as the metaphor of “don’t judge a book by its cover”, and suddenly she understood.
So, I chatted to her while on my way back from dropping my daughter to school this morning. She was unloading her morning’s undoings, I listened intently as always, and then absolute silence from both of us...
A lot of her work of late is transporting timber, or, more specifically, felled tree trunks. She was giving out about moss in her hair, and wasn’t entirely sure whether it was just moss... I threw a sarcastic jibe asking what she had been getting up to with the crane operator, which she duly ignored, and continued on to explain how the moss came from when she was throwing and tightening and adjusting straps around the loads, how each one had to be so precise as to hold them in place, but also so incredibly careful of not damaging the “precious cargo”, that the moss being removed should be the only damage done when tying it all down. She went into detail about the whole process, how the buckles when you throw them shouldn’t catch on the far side lest they damage the outer bark of the trees, how to attach them to evenly distribute the pressure, how to pump the ratchet so as not to rush the whole process and damage the bindings... Yes, fellow kinksters, I fell silent whilst trying to not laugh and moan at the same time...
About five seconds later, the laughter began and from her and not I thankfully, so I just joined in. The sarcastic comments flew in abundance for the next ten minutes or so, and I felt alive, truly alive. Through her venting, we bonded even more than we had before. Through her understanding, she saw a different side to what it is I find so appealing about this lifestyle we all adore. Through her explanation, I reaffirmed what it is I crave so much. Through her words, so simple, I came alive all over again in a friendship that is quite old.
Words hurt me, they make me ache in pain, they make me cry in sadness and also in great joy, they stir passion inside me, they soothe my own soul and give me a prime seat to look into another’s.
Someone wrote four words to me yesterday in the middle of a paragraph. Those words were written carefully, measured with the precision no dictionary could afford. Their collective effect was a dictionary’s worth of reaction from me that no phd in literature could achieve. For that, I’m grateful. For that, I wrote them out myself so they don’t get lost/misplaced. For that - well I won’t be crude and explain what the result was, but you all know what I mean...!
I promised you all my second horsey-related quote that I enjoy which are so important in riding English as opposed to Western, I believe. Either style I’m sure will appreciate the analogy. For me they also define (to an extent) a sub’s life for me:
”Hips like a hooker, shoulders like a queen.”
Words... 🥰
