So many times I’ve woken up, night after night that demon chasing away sleep and just lurking to wake me a second or a third time. I wouldn’t call it fear, though sometimes it’s just aches and pains and my body saying it can’t stay still anymore. But sometimes, just sometimes, especially lately, it’s my subconscious saying “wake up, check your phone, it’ll be worth it...”
I have such a vivid imagination, such a mind’s eye from just words. Waking to the words of that soft gentle soul whispering in my ear while he pulls me close against his hard body, feeling all squishy in his strong arms, listening to his strong heart thud a peaceful rhythm for my own to match, feeling his breath against my skin as I cuddle in close. And all just from a message.
My days have become about him, watching and waiting for that ping to tell me he’s awake and immediately thinking of me. Him tucking me in at night. Checking in with me all the time. Hearing his voice laughing and joking down the phone to me when he has the time to talk... Sometimes, just sometimes, life gives you lemons.
I don’t wake as much as I used to anymore. But now, if I do, he’s waiting there on my phone for me to pull me in close and lull me back to sleep...
