MLP(sub female){Not lookin}

Murmurations of Me

As much as being a sub courses through my veins, I have this other-worldly yearning to try and explain what all of this is doing to me... So I’m going to try, day by day, to put my scrambled thoughts into written words in the hope I find my own clarity...

One night stand

3 years ago. October 15, 2021 at 12:22 PM

Stop panicking, no I didn’t have one…! But I have a very big question to ask of you all, and I can only hope you will indulge me.

So a statement first: I have never had a one-night stand. Yes, there have been opportunities. Yes, I’ve fooled around. But, I’ve never ever had a one-night stand.

A bit of background to why I’m asking this: first off, no I’m not looking at anyone in particular, no I haven’t found someone, no I haven’t even remotely considered the implications to be brutally honest. But is is something I’m considering doing, just because I haven’t really. I’m quite unsure of myself at the moment, but I may have the opportunity in the coming weeks should I pursue this. Also, it wouldn’t be a kink-one-night stand either - just plain old vanilla sex. I suppose I’m looking on it as furthering myself in the life of kink as I have had many offers of playmates without sex by some fabulous people who understand that the two may not go hand in hand for me personally (also something I hadn’t considered before), and so believe I should try one before trying the two together for my own mental well-being. No, this isn’t something I’m jumping into either but is genuinely something I’ve been also considering from a psychological perspective.

So now comes the question(s):

Is this something you’ve done/do? How do you just go for pleasure without knowing the person deeply? Is there pleasure? I’ve always always wanted that connection with someone because, as a sub, my greatest pleasure comes from giving them pleasure. But I’m left with all these questions of “what if”. I’m also absolutely terrified of getting attached!

Sooooooooo… Indulge me, if you will, and give your ten cents to probably the most ridiculous question on here, but one which is actually quite serious for me in all honesty. Dos and Don’ts gratefully accepted!

MLP

ButterfliesAndCuffs(sub female) - I’ve had quite a few ONS when I was younger. It was easy for me to just have fun no strings sex without feeling attached. But when I tried to do it after my divorce I found that I started feeling attached even when I didn’t even really like the guy that much. So they aren’t for me anymore for the most part.

3 years ago

CSI - I am similar to BaC. Used to have quite a few, they were fun and lighthearted. I didn't get a whole lot of pleasure from them, but being wanted and connecting to someone even temporarily was a rush. Now I find I need an emotional connection which just doesn't happen with one night stands. Basically you are being used for your body and don't generally get aftercare, so you are left to deal with the fallout on your own. Also (maybe just my luck) the partners didn't last long at all and they certainly didn't care if I was fulfilled or got off at all.

3 years ago

LongerJohnny(dom male) - Many, mostly when I was in my teens, 20s and 40s (I was kinda busy in my 30s.) I still would.

Just the fact that it was a ONS didn't necessarily make the sex "better" because people are going to be better or worse in bed, short-term or long-term or whatever. But knowing that it was just fucking and not emotion or commitment or forever made it less complicated and easier to enjoy.
Of course some people would argue that knowing it is emotion and commitment and forever makes it less complicated and easier to enjoy than just sex.

I'd say go for it if the opportunity presents and you are feeling it. But ALWAYS be safe, and make sure that the other person is respectful of your wants too. Don't do it if you are already sure you will regret it.

3 years ago

A Cloud(sub female){Owned} - I've had quite a few situations of friends that become lovers for a while and a small number of one night stands. The one night stands have been somewhat unfulfilling and the best part about them was the flirting beforehand.

There was one beautiful human that I met travelling (10 years ago) and spent 3 delightful days/nights with; I could have fallen in love with him but left to continue my travels. It was thoroughly romantic in a very unique sense. I still think of that time and him with such joy and appreciation.

The friendship/lover dynamic has been, mostly, an enjoyable, easy going experience. I felt comfortable to explore and have fun without feeling the anxiety to commit, which has been a fear of mine. Still working on that one 🤣.

3 years ago

MsDove(sub female){Eternal Pi} - I had alot of ONS in the 70's, not very fulfilling. Sex without any sort of relationship left me feeling very empty the next day so I stopped doing that. In the late 70's and early 80's, I was doing theater. So there was always alot of sex going on within the cast. That was alot of fun. We worked and played together. Said goodbye at the final curtain until we were cast together again. No strings fun with people I liked. Then AIDS showed up, pretty much put a halt on things for a bit. I later had friends who I had sexual relationships with, it was nice, caring and fulfilled mutual needs. I had three male friends that I slept with when I met my husband. We were happily together for 27 years. When he passed away, I assumed that was it. Here I am in a committed relationship I found through the Cage.

My advice is to find someone who you like and make an agreement to be friends with benefits. Most ONS's are only intrested in their own pleasure. It's a crap shot whether or not you'll be satisfied sexually. As well as a good fuck, my guess is you also want some tenderness. That requires a connection.

Stay away from married men. It gets to complicated and, quite frankly, you don't want to be the person who is blamed for the failure of a marriage.

There are plenty of good people wanting touch, caring and a good fuck. Ask someone for 100% of what you want. You might be pleasantly surprised. ❤🕊

3 years ago

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MLP​(sub female){Not lookin}

Murmurations of Me

One night stand

MLP(sub female){Not lookin}