MsNevermore(other female)

MsNevermore's ramblings, observations, and thoughts

These are my thoughts, opinions and experiences alone. Feel free to contribute, debate or disagree....

Reflecting on my Personal responsibility and accountability

6 years ago. May 30, 2018 at 2:01 PM

So I wrote this thing the other day. It was part of my personal journey and how I chose to travel it.

Made the disclaimers and admitted that it was not what would fall under the masses understanding of SSC. (Why personally I hate the preconceived notion that most of what we do falls under safe or sane by ambiguous definitions ...but as usual I digress. Another writing for another day.

I know I pushed the edges of edge play to some especially to those new to the scene, it was admittedly a reckless blog about a very multi dimensional process.

I hold myself responsible for my self and the example I am leading (even with disclaimers) others to possibly follow or emulate toward. I can and am holding myself also accountable to that fact. I have been in thus lifestyle a very long time. I have made my fair share of mistakes. Some of them from following what others did without the knowledge or guidance to know I was in over my head. I don't want to be the cause of another's folly in the same.

I was approached this morning with concerns regarding said post and politely asked to I would voluntarily take it down. I have a ton of respect for the Leadership of this site for not only how they approached this but also the manner in which they are also holding themselves accountable for the safety of the site as a whole. Let me be clear, they did not tell me I had to but the reasons they felt I should.

Part of responsibility and accoutablitilty is constant reflecting on how we are being viewed by others. The post was not what I want that reflection of me or my accoutablitilty to be.

I am a "Safe" person. I am responsible for the "Risks" I willingly concent to myself. I am also accountable that others may not be and that my writing may have caused others to not be in their own journey. So the writing on my Demon came down.

This is a life(style) and daily process for many of us. What we write isn't just fantasy or rules in a "game". There is no reset or do over button when things go wrong. I know better and will do better in the future to remember that not everyone quite gets that....yet.

Asteria(neither female) - I am of the firm opinion that we all should be responsible for our own words and actions. But there is something that makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. I'll try to explain what and why.

We keep preaching that as a community we are responsible for newbies. I agree with that, but... to some extent. I am aware that some might disagree with me, but I believe that every single person here or elsewhere, who starts to experiment with BDSM needs to be responsible for him / herself in the first place.
Does our responsibility means that we need to refrain ourselves from posting something, even if we clearly put there some warnings? It makes me think about... swimming. I can't swim. Does that mean that when I appear on a beach, people should stop swimming, because they might give me wrong example? Or does that mean that I should use my brain and think a little bit before I will be all excited and will jump into the sea?

The Cage is supposed to be a website for adults. I thought pretty much the same about BDSM. But maybe I am just wrong...

6 years ago

MsNevermore(other female) - It is. And no, as in your swimming example, if we know how to swim. We swim. What I did was assume that everyone would read my "the following is done by a professional, do not attempt at home" and only read it as that. That was foolhardy on my part BECAUSE there are to many that do think "the community" will keep them safe. But who keeps them safe from themself? I basically wrote out what one may have viewed as a how to....even after firstly stating: DON'T DO AS I DO. but we both know how well toddlers listen before touching that burner for the first time....a risk and responsibility I am not willing to take on in the topic of that past blog. So it came down.

Need more coffee and out of analogies at the moment. ;)
The Cage is also a business like it or not and has other factors to consider. For the gracious ability for me to be able to blog on their site I need to accept that even if they agree personally they have others to appease in a business word. So the tango begins....

6 years ago

Bunnie - I have often considered this when posting blogs. How it will be perceived by newcomers. As you say, because it is a responsibility in a way, to lead by example for them. There are many blogs I haven’t posted because of this. I like to share my journey, with one of the reasons being that others may relate or learn. Sometimes it can be difficult (and I find that it is with the “bigger” lessons), to bridge the gap of sharing and understanding. Whilst I thoroughly applauded your breakthrough, and very much admired your sharing it with us, I also understand the reasoning for it being taken down. Respect to those working behind the scenes to keep us safe however they can, and respect to you for listening and responding 😊

6 years ago

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MsNevermore​(other female)

MsNevermore's ramblings, observations, and thoughts

Reflecting on my Personal responsibility and accountability

MsNevermore(other female)