I've been too busy enjoying the summer weather to really get around to writing anything, so I thought I'd check in.
What drew me back here was, I got a message saying "MistressSamantha Loves Your Profile." Well, that's nice... maybe I'll love her profile back. But when I tried to click on her name to read her profile, I got the message "Profile does not exist." So what happened? Maybe she was shy? Hope I didn't scare her off...though her liking my profile was the only interaction I ever had with her. In any case, I'm not really looking for a shy dominant.
In hindsight, I think I may have inadvertently sabotaged potential relationships by being shy myself. I've never had an issue chatting up members of the opposite sex, and usually, though not always, I am not shy about having long, in depth conversations with just about anyone. If there are common interests, shared values, and a broad range of things we like doing together or apart as individual hobbies- I have no problem with this.
But conversation leading to intimacy? Making the first move? That's always been hard for me. Trying to read the subtle signs that are so easily mis-interpreted, or wishfully thinking you are seeing signs that aren't really there. I prefer it when she is direct: Come here boy, kiss me. What are you waiting for, get your clothes off, now! No chance to misinterpret that. Maybe that's why I've found my submissive nature to be a curse in terms of finding intimacy. Sometimes you get the feeling you should lean over and kiss her, but what if you are wrong? You get a slap. Should you ask? That feels awkward and can be kind of icky to me. And some women want a big alpha caveman knuckle dragger type dude to just sleaze on up to her and take charge; but I'm not that type of guy. (and if you screw THAT up... well, potentially some really bad things can happen.) With practice, maybe I'll get over my shyness and learn to be more direct. Or maybe she'll understand, and make the first move herself. I dunno, dating in the kink scene has it's own separate set of challenges, but it's always about communication and being on the same wavelength, and it never easy either way... Maybe we're just not enough on the same wavelength.
So that's kind of the way things stand. She's been busy caught up in her own world. The usual mixed signals like "I want to hang out but I'm busy this weekend, how bout next weekend," then next weekend, it's the usual call-and-wait-by-the-phone routine. Which is the part of the dating game I've always hated the most. Being tethered to your phone waiting for a call-back is much more torture than being tethered to a leash in a bondage scene, believe me. But that's a post for another day... maybe next November when the weather's dark and nasty. Right now, I've got a hike planned for tomorrow and a trip planned for Sunday so, we'll see.