I've been looking and reading and commenting on the cage for about a week now.
i watch myself not approach subs because i am not feeling within myself secure enough to allow my dominance.
in my work i find if i suggest to a client a solution 95% of the time they follow it. i know i am doing it for their best and thus my best. thats what i am there for to help them be the best them.
i want to do this with a sub who has an emotional connection with me that connects both ways, i know i can do it. i know i can be in control and help her become the best she wants to be in her way, not in mine.
but something stands in the way and as i write this i see it is my fear of being connected to that initiates the fear. it feels like overwhelming responsibility that i am the everything for a sub and if i allow myself to be wanted and obeyed i get overwhelmed when in reality it can be as simple as commanding her to sit and be still.
being either dominant or submissive is the surrender to allowing ourselves to be loved and wanted and needed.
i think maybe my biggest fear.
