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Contemplation.

My true domination journey through words.
3 years ago. July 16, 2021 at 2:51β€―PM

So, I am not a very experienced Dom on the physical sense of BDSM as yet 😁. I am quite experienced on the emotional and energetic side, holding a space for someone and reading them. 

 

In the past month or so I have been chatting to loads of different submissive's and have noticed that the new or young submissive's I have spoken to seem to forget that they are allowed to ask questions. 

 

I find the conversation runs out because they don't contribute to the conversation, I have been told on a few occasions that they thought they were not allowed to ask questions without permission. 

I have to keep saying to them, I just met you, I am not your Dom, I am just a Dom you are talking to, you are not my submissive. you are allowed to be yourself and ask as many questions as you can. get to know me, if you do decide to submit then you know more about me, the more you know the better you will fit and the better you can surrender to your submissiveness, the safer you will feel the deeper you can go. 

amy snuggle​(sub female) - As a new sub there is often a timidity and sense of anxiety over revealing that deep seated lustful side of yourself. It may feel as if rejection of an aspect of your character that even you haven't begun to understand or explore could be a fatal blow. So although there is no commitment between you and you are just having a conversation, this conversation could shape how she moves forward with her submission. Tread softly, for you tread on her dreams
3 years ago
Sir Observing​(dom male) - thanks for you reply and i agree, i am alway very aware of the anxiety in a sub, and i always keep that in mind.
3 years ago
amy snuggle​(sub female) - Not criticising at all. Just offering a perspective from the other side πŸ‘
3 years ago
Sir Observing​(dom male) - thank you.
3 years ago
Satindragon{Not Lookin} - Great blog. A lot of people on both sides of the slash come here with little or no knowledge of how the lifestyle works.

By that I mean a woman who labels herself as a submissive thinks she must call every man Sir. There are also men who think every woman should bow down to them.

They aren’t aware of the vetting or get to know you aspect. I want to talk that person. I want to know the things you like or don’t like. How easy is it to have a conversation with you?

Sometimes these things are overlooked.
3 years ago
RedKat{Not now } - Damn, you can’t shut me up...πŸ˜‚
3 years ago
rosalinda{Mr H + SR} - I’m with you, @RedKat. Before choosing to submit in a safe environment, I make my preferences and limits clearly known by erring on the side of over communicating.

Although, perhaps only with the people that I feel are worth the time and energy for me to open up to—worthy recipients of my words and thoughts.

@MisterLeey: Sounds like you’re doing all the right things: exemplifying open communication and holding space.
3 years ago
Sir Observing​(dom male) - this is really important to talk about so other newbies can learn this,
3 years ago
ellefire​(sub female) - I was told by a "Dom" early on in my journey that I asked too many questions. I know better now, but it made a big impression on me and I catch myself worrying sometimes that I'm being too chatty and curious. Thanks for this important post! 🌸⚑🌸
3 years ago
Gaiawolf​(sub female){RogueWolf} - Same, I was told he needed to know me I would learn his expectations with time. Yeah not ever again.
3 years ago
ellefire​(sub female) - Ugh. And one went a step farther and said I could not know his expectations until I committed to him. Why on earth would I commit to someone without even knowing if our desires meshed!?!
3 years ago
ellefire​(sub female) - I know there are good Doms out there, I just need to be patient 😁
3 years ago
ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female){LJ}Verified member - I agree. Those women probably had an experience like described above. I know my first experience with a self proclaimed experienced dom of over 20 years went similarly. He knew what I looked like but I wasn’t allowed to know what he looked like. Said limits are for fake doms. Wouldn’t really let me ask anything. Kept saying after knowing him for a couple months there would be nothing I wouldn’t let him do. Scared me right off!
3 years ago

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