Sir Observing(dom male)

Contemplation.

My true domination journey through words.

the post maybe i shouldn't write.

3 years ago. September 21, 2021 at 11:00 PM

in my profile i clearly say i am a soft psychological dom. this means i get to understand the submissive as we go along. i want to get into her head, i want to know what makes her tick. i am also very good at this. i get paid very well to do this as a career.

This seems to draw young or new submissive's to me and a few more experienced. What i have found is that when i get to know them and understand them. when i can answer them in a way that they cant hide from me, when i show i understand them they run away. ( i thought the point of D's is to get to know each other so well that you feel safe and secure with each other)

I met a nice young lady on a different platform she told me she was a brat in need of taming and training. When i was chatting to her i could tell she was looking for ways to be able to attack me. When i commented on something i wouldn't allow, (one of my limits) i could feel she took that into account and remembered it as something she could use to fight against me.

She had approached me, she had offered her contact details for private communication without prompting, she asked me if i could tame her and as soon as i was able to see her process she blocked me and ran away.

its wrong to surmise, but i believe she wants to submit as much as she wants to push the Dom away. her brat energy seems to be a way of her controlling her situation. Now, i am not wronging her for this if i am right, its just her process. She ends up being able to blame the Doms for not being able to tame her, but never gets to actually surrender to her submission.

i am quite new at being a Dom so i might be totally wrong. id enjoy other peoples feed back.

thanks for readind M O

Bunnie - I think something that is often overlooked is that submission is an actual conscious decision. It doesn’t matter if someone may come across as (or tell you that they’re) the slaviest slave that ever slaved, if they’re not willing to put in the work to actually hand over that power to another, then they’re simply a person who seems submissive but isn’t actually willing to surrender. This is super common, and is often accompanied with the belief that it’s the responsibility of the Dominant to “unlock” this aspect of the submissive and “force” them to their knees through the sheer magnitude of the Dominant’s amazing ability to be everything. See how that mindset doesn’t really require much responsibility from the submissive? Again, like you, I’m not placing blame… we can’t see this about ourselves until we learn it. And it does require having that guidance to be able to observe these things in ourselves, and to learn the many misconceptions we carry in the early days. Some people shift from that mindset as they learn more. Some don’t. Some will have a myriad of excuses as to why they shouldn’t. Some will even convince you it’s better if they don’t, because the dangling carrot is that through your hard work as a Dominant you get the golden ticket (conveniently there is never any proof of that). It’s all learning. You’ll discover whether that type of path appeals to you or not, and learn the necessary skills required to walk it. If you want brats there are plenty.

3 years ago

Sir Observing(dom male) - thank you, very helpful.

3 years ago

simplegirl - You guys crack me up 😂🤣😆 lmao

3 years ago

Sir Observing(dom male) - why do we crack you up?

3 years ago

simplegirl - No harm here. It wasn't what you wrote that I laughed about. The discussion caught me off guard; it's was funny how Kiev described the situation. It may or may not be accurate, but it sure was entertaining reading it. I wasn't expecting the comments.

3 years ago

NuaRéalta{Caillte} - Anam (Kiev) surely has a way....

3 years ago

Sir Observing(dom male) - neither was i. everyone has their own point of view. even if they can be so obviously ummmm wrong

3 years ago

Domson(dom male) - I'd agree with them Master Observing. Take a moment of introspection, and find a lesson in these moments. Growth in general, and in a D/s dynamic is a process. Pause, evaluate, assess, move forward. (change your bank info lol)

3 years ago

makemeplease(sub female){Prussian} - Did we all miss the part where he said she was young? I find that while youth provides the more aesthetically pleasing aspects of a woman (for some, anyway) it also provides you with a human who is in their likely least stable/logical state they will phase through. I understand this concept is neither rule nor new information... But I felt that it was a point not highlighted as brightly as perhaps it should have been.

And M.O.: I find it interesting that you are quick to point out the youth of the other party (and thus, a level of implied inexperience) but wait until the very end to highlight your own inexperience as a Dom. I am left to ask the question, was this issue her sleight of hand or is it possible that your inexperience led you to see something askew or wrong altogether? Not a personal attack or criticism... I've never been and never will be in a Big D's shoes, I can't begin to imagine what that role is really like. Just... my opinion, which I believe is what you asked for...

I enjoy that you consider yourself a "Psychological Dom"... I'd be interested in talking with you more about that, should you have the time or interest.

F

3 years ago

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - As a Brat myself, I can see her. It's not money nor is it the need to be tamed that she is looking for. She is looking for peace. Brats are women who have PTSD. Think of Brat as an acronym:
(B)io-social (R)esponce (A)after (T)rauma, which is all that PTSD is.

She bolted out of fear of some kind. What that fear was, who knows. She may be a drunkard, a drug user, or just got scared. It doesn't matter. What matters is that she is far to close to her abuse to be mentally healthy. It's actually a good thing (for you) that she bolted. Yes, she would have used whatever information she learned about you to cause you pain. To wound you in your most tender places.

Remember, no one enters this community and after doing research says, "oh! Brats sound intriguing! I think I'll try bratting!" There are no workshops on how to be a Brat. Brats are seen as the pariahs of the BDSM community and we are kink shamed regularly. No one CHOOSES to be a brat so that begs the question, what really IS a brat.....

Which is how I realised that it's truly an acronym and not a lifestyle choice. Think of it that way and you will understand Brats (and her reasons for leaving) better.

3 years ago

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Sir Observing​(dom male)

Contemplation.

the post maybe i shouldn't write.

Sir Observing(dom male)