Finding myself

and there is other in me…after years of sex in and out of relationships…that’s all it was, sex. Not bad, not good. I encountered a couple of women who, perhaps without realising it released something from inside me. I was having an affair with a married woman, she loved to be spanked, at first I was tentative, but the harder I smacked the more aroused she became and that really turned me on. 
The other turning point is more ethereal, more unfulfilled. I met a woman who wanted me to attend an orgy with her as her pet, naked on a leash to be presented to the group. I didn’t go, but everyday since then I’ve thought about it, wondering what would have happened, what it would have felt like 🤔

As a teenager, maybe 15 years old…discovering myself I would lie in bed at night, the fantasy that came to me was to be captured by Amazonian warrior women. They would tie me by my hands to a crossbeam, strip me and slap and smack my face and all of over body. I would get an erection and they would stand around me, talking and pointing at my erect cock, before slapping it until I came…so hard, I would be spent. This is the first time I’ve shared this, at the time I thought it weird, wrong and perverse, still do to a degree. I’m finally finding my sexuality.