Sarah’s world

She couldn’t connect with anyone.  She kind of wanted to be done.  She wished someone would just take her.  She would be grateful.  Needing roughness 

It isn’t safe

i must break

i must connect 

change your focus he said and I did 

CRYING CRYING shaking moving

i give up I give in I will fight you I will fight 

slap my face til I see stars let me go to that wild please which is BEAUTIFUL I see want the drug effect  

i can’t feel it I want to feel it but I have my corner with both walls comforting no stuffie no msm just a wall but it’s something 

Not feeling it then he put his hand over my mouth and nose and I felt I loved him

i have loved women briefly.. Lauren, Layla, would’ve continued with both but messed it up.. 

Walking in the air with my shirt up and no bra , ready but no one knew

rhey were shy too, the boy on the sledding hill, the man at the bar which I slipped away to sit at until my dad came and got me from family dinner at a restaurant, 

swaying to the African music in a club stoned and looking behind me encouraging a stranger to put his hands on my hips slip up a bit as I moved.. seeing him later in a grocery store

twenty something going home w sixty something feeling extremely aroused being bossed told

17 pulled over white see through tank no bra, middle aged man, ATTENTION SEEN

Make it stop

let it start 

no

yes

please

Can I hold your hand and I hope it’s hairy and I won’t let go please don’t go. I am crazy tired but I can’t sleep I wish my daddy liked me and would sing to me 

Better yet around my NECK mmmm tight and my feet tied apart. Lay on my belly or side. I want a babysitter, a man to sit by me while I take my nap and to understand 

Sleeping in the corner, I wish there was someone to tie my hand to a post, someone to sit by me and make me do my work, someone, where I wouldn’t have to be ashamed, to have my desires

I need pain.  Need an escape.  Change is so hard.  Panicking.  

She didn’t really know that she was missing something.  She couldn’t feel it, until she knew what the lack of it was.  He fulfilled her needs in a way that no one had before, so that now she couldn’t not have it. He’s started by talking with her, letting her grow accustomed to his voice and gentle prodding i the direction of a better her.  When they finally met she had already grown quite hungry for him without realizing it.  When his hand brushed hers seemingly by accident in Starbucks, she felt it somehow between her legs and blushed

did anyone notice? What happened nezt was unthinkable 

Can somebody please tell me it’s gonna be ok?  I need to be held