I AM great! I just heard this in me.
It’s defensive, it’s in my mind - like as tho he doesn’t think so. “I am too great!” And like feel sadness/triggered/a little crying.
It’s interesting bc actually he totally loves me and does think I’m great/ well, a lot of me/ when I’m a total asshole then no. He loves me then but doesn’t like me so much.
I think this is what happens in my pattern (love immediately-attachment, then knock down from pedestal and become a total asshole, need to escape). What happens: I no longer feel awesome, I no longer feel he thinks I’m awesome bc I’ve been an asshole. Then I don’t want him. Bc I want to feel awesome.
anyway- just beginning to try to understand the pattern psychology. My pattern is very harmful to the poor men, my children and myself.
I think I’m on a path to being alone, not sadly but intentionally; I can still connect as I wish and love plenty but not monogamous. My primary focus is my own consciousness. And then giving from there, to everyone
currently tho I’m in relationship so I will see how plays out. God help me. Im beginning step 4 wrote out a ton damn yesterday on my mother. Will be writing about my partner shud give more clues.
what are your guys’ patterns? This stuff is so interesting.