When we met the party hosts Saturday night, they had assumed that Felicia was the primary dominant of the two us us. Given her outfit, this is not terribly surprising...
When she went on to wield a heavy flogger across my back for the first time, it certainly gave the rumor some credence.
Oh Felicia... what am I to do with you?
Black sleek vinyl dress, stockings and garters. Damn, she looked HAWT!!!
~Kal
This is a continuation of my prior entry, one of the most surreal nights of our lives, when we ventured to the city for our first munch and dungeon party. Us! Who would have thought?!?
Before we left the preceding munch, out host, Meat Candy, went over some of the protocol and rules of the party. This went a long way to set expectations for us for what was to follow. As before, some of this will be old hat for the veterans to the scene, but it is my hope that what I share will provide some comfort and courage to those that have not yet ventured out into the great beyond of public BDSM.
For starters, he explained the concept of CONSENT, the #1 most important rule across the board. We would see people in various states of dress and undress, but that this was not a signal that it is OK to touch. Every touch and action, particularly with those we would meet that night, had to be preceded with clear permission to do so. We would obviously be witnessing some scenes - bondage, suspensions, fireplay for example - but a public scene is not automatically permission to participate in any way in the scene. Watching is fine, but touching is not, and even commenting or interacting in any way in the scene means you are part of the scene, which can at best distract the participants and at worst pull them out of “the zone” or even cause a safety issue. The word “RED” is the universal safe word - when it is said, the scene stops dead and assistance will be provided if necessary. No drugs, no alcohol. NO CELL PHONES. And he encouraged, if it is our first event, to observe carefully before participating. Penetration was not permitted, Clean your play area after use. There was more, but this covered the basic ground.
We paraded a few blocks and wound our way into a sketchy, steam pipe warehouse alleyway, through a virtually unmarked door and up a couple flights of dingy staircase, paying admission (typically $10-$25 depending) to an attendant sitting at a card table at the top. Look, these places aren’t well-thought of publicly, and they aren’t looking for browsers and walk-ins. So be prepared, the exteriors are discreet and often less than appealing.
We entered the club, greeted with the thump thump thump of club music and dim lights. We checked our coats and wandered about. Those that were at the munch began to change from their street clothes to fetishwear, underwear or flat out nudity. There were full-on latex catsuits, cat ears and tails, steampunk, lingerie, even an adult baby or two.
As I mentioned in my munch entry, this was a cross section of humanity in every age, shape and color. That said, I struggle to put into words the utter beauty and freedom and equality that everyone was capable of experiencing here. It was not the airbrushed porn stars running around, smiling and topless, but anyone that wanted to. And they were beautiful, all of them in their spirit, in their courage, in their acceptance of each other, in their utter freedom to be themselves, hidden away from a world that might have hurt them, or reject them or degrade them. The body positivity was, to say the least, unmatched by anything we had ever seen before, and utterly refreshing.
The dungeon was crowded, separated into a lobby and four “scene” rooms each equipped with various pieces of furniture including cages, spanking benches, St Andrews crosses, suspension rigs, a medical bed, a bondage chair, various beds for various purposes.
When we walked into the first room, there was already a suspension scene going on, with a woman strung up upside down, one leg stretched out, being alternately paddled and tickled, screaming and doing her best to block the shots and groan in frustration and pain. A small crowd was gathered only a few feet away, in a semi-circle, watching with wrapt attention. The cross and cage in the room were going unused - in tight quarters, it was hard to imagine multiple scenes happening.
We walked into the next room, where a Dom was expertly flogging a young naked woman on the spanking bench. She was not tied, and she was grinning and moaning her approval. We stayed and watched from only three feet away for quite sometime, seated on a black bed atop an empty cage. We marveled at the continuous, tender care he provided, in sharp contrast to the less-than-gentle attacks with the floggers, which he eventually traded for a blade to switch to knife play. A sign taped to the bench indicated that she was open to others participating, subject to her and the Dom’s approval. A pair of young women took her up on it. One of them, dressed in a Victorian corset, garters and stockings, clearly had experience, displaying some mad ninja skills with a pair of floggers. The other was newer, less experienced, but the unexpected happened. The original Dom took her under his wing, demonstrating better technique (“stand back this far... use your arm like this... strike here and here, not here”), which improved the experience for all of them. They all embraced to the tearful gratitude of the submissive at the end, then cleaned the area for the next players who promptly took over.
Being two days before Christmas, they made an announcement for the kinky white elephant gift exchange. Everyone had brought a wrapped gift, names were drawn from a hat and traditional “yankee swap” rules ensued, with dollar charges for round immunity. The hosts were hilarious and really played up each gift. We contributed a wooden “cheese board” that clearly doubled as a paddle, and it was the hit of the party, raising $15 in immunity donations to TES. Other gifts included vibrators, riding crops and costume items. We ended up with a panel ball-gag (Felicia snatched it up). It was a lot of fun, and a good way to learn more names.
As the evening progressed, we witnessed a fireplay demonstration, and a Domme “torturing” a submissive male with an electro wand. Our friend from the munch got his wish, being strung up and blindfolded in various positions for both flogging and sensation play. We saw a man bound by a pair of dommes, his testicles clamped in a vice. We saw a babygirl cuddling her teddy bear in a cage, and a puppygirl being led on a leash. A guy strapped his girlfriend to a medical bed for sensation play.
I can honestly tell you, I was on sensory overload. It didn’t seem real, more like a dream that couldn’t possibly be happening. Felicia and I were both uncharacteristically quiet throughout the evening, observing and sharing observations with each other in shared whispers. We shopped a table full of custom-made cuffs and implements (didn’t buy though I wish I had bought one of the suede floggers or dragon’s tail).
Felicia was propositioned once, politely, by a guy we had met at the munch, who wanted to know if we play with others. Again, something that took us aback was how open people were with what they talk about, and how we could not be offended by such an offer, but rather, well, flattered. Yeah, we still got it!
We finally made our way out at nearly 1AM, making our way to the garage in relative silence, trying to let our brains catch up until we could debrief like chatterboxes on the way home at the amazing experience we had just had, and the unexpected takeaways:
Body positivity. Safe environment. Courteous, helpful, people. Inviting atmosphere. Kindness of strangers. No one was left out. Freedom. Beauty. Courage. Pleasure.
How many places can you name that have these things?
I hope I have translated our first experience into words that might help you, dear reader and fellow kinkster, to make the leap and venture out for yourself. If you are wondering if we enjoyed ourselves, I trust my words have expressed that, but if not, rest assured, we went twice more within a month’s time.
Feel free to add questions or comments below, or “Bond” us, and we wish you all the happiness in the world on your various journeys! Maybe you’ll join us sometime!
Much love,
~Kal and Felicia
This is what my demure little wife Felicia wore for our second play party out... add some killer heels.
Yeah, she’s got it going on!!!
And yes, true story, sans the hat.
~Kal
Recently, my wife Felicia and I made the decision to attend our first munch and visit our first play party, or dungeon if you will. We shared our experience in the chat room, but only in bits and pieces, and there seemed to be a lot of curiousity about it. We know firsthand that it is a big brave step to go public for the first time. It is my hope that, by sharing this story, it will encourage others to step out and try it for themselves.
We also acknowledge that, for many of you this is old hat, but if you can recall what it was like the first time you went, or just before that, then hopefully you can see our point of view today. It is an exciting, brand new adventure, doing something we never imagined doing.
The number one concern, of course, is anonymity. This is a fear we all share, that somehow we might show up, get recognized and outed as the local perverts. We had been assured through some podcasts, and chats with those “in the scene” that it is a shared concern, and that for the most part those attending don’t want to be outed any more than you do. We had decided that we would avoid a very local scene and engage a bit of travel - close enough to revisit, far enough away to reduce the chance of an awkward bump into someone we know in our mild mannered vanilla alter egos. We just had not decided exactly where or when.
However, as it went, we were resting in a waft of aftercare after a bit of a kinky morning on Christmas EveEve, when Felicia muttered something about a munch she had just read about, in NYC, followed by a play party at a dungeon a few blocks away. Intrigued, I wrote to the organizers to get the lowdown and ask the typical noob questions - dress code, what do we bring, etc, We received a prompt and courteous response from a gentleman named “Meat Candy” who welcomed us with enthusiasm, gave us a little insight into what to expect and the protocol, and looked forward to meeting us. And as quickly as that, these two ultra-planners found ourselves driving through the Lincoln Tunnel on on our way to what would surely be, at the very least, an evening to remember.
We parked, a couple hours early, and found a local pub, enjoying a couple glasses of wine for her and beer for me to calm the nerves a bit. On the way over, we discussed how we would conduct ourselves for the evening. Although we had brought some items with us (a collar, a flogger, some basic cuffs) we agreed we would probably not play that evening, preferring instead to observe, learn the protocols and let it all soak in. It was important to us to meet some people - we knew NO ONE, other than “Meat Candy” at that point. We also agreed to use our nicks rather than our real names. And we agreed, if we were not connecting with anyone and if either of us got a bad vibe, we would leave from the munch and not progress to the party after.
We walked down to the location, which was in a loft area of a large deli/coffee house. After grabbing a coffee and a soda we walked upstairs, looking around awkwardly for some “Here R the Kinksters” sign which was not materializing. We decided to approach a rather large party of very normal, very friendly looking people, and fortunately one of them broke the ice and ask if we were there for the TES event. With that, we met Meat Candy, got some name tags to fill out, and sat at the end of a table hoping someone would talk to us. It didn’t take long.
My first impression of this group was somewhat of a relief, and it took away that fear of inadequacy. They all looked like very normal people. Average people. Not a group of 19-year old airbrushed porn stars. People of all shapes and sizes and ages, sitting together, smiling, just chatting about... whatever it is they were chatting about (mostly kink). They were all dressed in regular street clothes as well, as the invitation had requested. Fetishwear was worn underneath, or carried with.
After a couple minutes, we just started trying to slide into conversations and introducing ourselves. Of course, Felicia instantly used her real name by mistake, but recouped quickly and covered up nicely. She quickly found an effective way to meet copious people that evening: taking it upon herself to welcome every newcomer and help with their name tags. We found ourselves standing, engaged in lively conversation about who was new and who wasn’t, different rope techniques, sharing pics on phones.
The frankness of the conversation was completely refreshing as was the utter friendliness of the people and the variety of people there. There was Sam, a switch who was downright giddy that he had a pre-arranged bondage evening planned. A older gentleman arrived with a older woman in tow behind him, introducing her as his slave. There was a woman in spectacular steampunk garb. There was a lively discussion of various experiences with suspension rope play and a sort of yoga class some of them enjoyed to limber up. The variety of doms and subs, walks of life, and ages was refreshing. It really was an environment for all, and it made us feel instantly a “part of”.
This is another very important note - everyone was very respectful. Look, when you’re talking kink, the vibe can be flirtatious. However, this was far from a “meet market” or people just looking to hook up. I think a natural fear is that these are sex-driven people who just want sex sex sex and orgy orgy orgy. I’m not so naive to say that is out of the realm of possibility, but I will say that at no point did we feel “skeevy”. We felt safe in an atmosphere where consent is the word of the day, and we didn’t meet a single person who came close to violating that.
Two hours flew by rapidly until it was time to make our way to the play party. Meat Candy silenced the room and made the standard announcements, discussed the protocols of the next stop (for which I will include in the next installment), and other basic housekeeping. The munchers got up and reassembled the room EXACTLY as they had found it, like a team of Boy Scouts leaving their camp behind.
In conclusion, the munch all by itself was incredibly satisfying. It felt as though we had overcome a huge hurdle, and at the same time made us say, wow, that was so incredibly NORMAL. Just to be able to actually talk kink OUT LOUD with other people was such a relief and a privilege. We really were making friends!
We then assembled outside, and like a large sightseeing troupe, wound our way down several city blocks to our destination... the Parthenon. Stay tuned!
Feel free to ask any questions in the comments, and we will be happy to answer as best we can!
~Kal
Felicia and I want to wish you all an amazing New Year in 2018. May we all find what we are looking for, cling to what we already have and treasure, and experience incredible adventures - and let’s do it together!
The actual prompt word was "lick" but this seemed more straight to the point...
And since I had a request to include me in one of these...
We decided to watch The Notorious Bettie Page tonight... Felicia promptly drifted off (movies have that effect on her). I like to think she was having pleasant dreams, however...
Sometimes you have to take a prompt and interpret it to make it your own... isn’t that right Felicia?
Painted on pastel sepia sheet with pearlescent inks and gel. ;)
You’ve all meant a great deal to us this holiday season. Thanks for being a part of our lives, for all the encouragement, laughter and life lessons we’ve shared together in this short time!
Thanks to the suggestions made in the chatroom tonight, Felicia is going to be very busy the next few days...