Sunday 15 August 2021
3 things have defined my last 12 months...
1. August 2020 I had a breakdown aka PTSD from childhood tauma, I am not going to go ito it here but it came back due to the affects of the Covid Lockdown. I had not been sleeping so my mind was alive putting pieces of my lifes igsaw puzzel together. it was when the final piece was put in place It was like an explosion in my head that I needed to let out, My mind was in termoil and I had a breakdown. I finally got things resolved with the help of my Job and Counselling. The last session ended on 6th December 2020 then....
2. 05 January 2021 My 38 year old Son.. my only child... died of the Corona Virus (Covid 19).. It had struck at the heart of my family. I know many do not believe in it so I do not or ever will expect you to understand. Someone sent this tro me and I feel so grateful for it.
3. July 2021 My 12 year relationship (8 year marriage) ended.
No fault of my wife or mine just a situation of life events which broke my strength and resolve.
I lost my beautiful home as I felt she needed it more than me and for the sake of sellling it I signed it over to her as she had the funds to clear the outstanding mortgage.
I now sit in a single room wondering how I got hear and feeling lonley. YES LONELY.
The need to be with someone that understand my needs as a Dom the need to feel whole when all I am now is a person a Dom without a Purpose.
They say the grass is always greener on the other side. I look at the USA and I wonder how great the female Submissives are how open and real they are to seek out a Master and fullfill their dreams.. yet here in trhe UK its like it is a fantasy.
So for now I will continue my search and try to pick up the pieces of my life that has taken a stuble along the way. I am not beaten I am not defeated.
Yet I am not whole until I find the Sub who will complete me the Ying to my Yang, The other hal of the missing 2 piece jigsaw to complete each other. I know she is out there and I hope she finds ME. As I have been searching without success.
I share this not for pity or sympathy but in the hope anyone realising this that you should NEVER give up what you feel and know is right for you no matter what life throws at you.
Theses trial I have faced has only made me feel stronger. The loniness will be a distant menory. Only the Sub who searches for me can end that. I beleive it WILL happen.
I will continue to up date this blog as it is good for me to bear my sole.
I am human after all.
my apologies for the way it is updated until I figure out how to make it look like a daily diary this is the only way it will be continiued
Master Ebony
