Bratty the Batty(sub female){Owned}

Fantasy writing

He came in, and in that moment my heart dropped. I wasnt sure what i was feeling, whether it was fear or excitement. He caught me looking at him and in the moment he asked "should i let you go?". That question made my confusion worse, should he let me go? Should i stay? What would happen?. Without realizing it, i got out of my head and saw him looking puzzled. I havent answered his question yet, but how could I? I had to say something though, anything. I quickly replied back with "oh, i am in control now". What was that? What did that even mean? I didnt have much time to really think about that though because he quickly launched at me and said "excuse me, listen here you little slut, i can keep you as a slave, would you like that? OH MY GOD, why does he keep asking me questions, like I'm supposed to know. Ive never been in this situation before and i can barely figure out what I'm feeling, let alone express it. Before i knew it, he just walked away and closed the door again. There i was in this dark cold basement with no clothes on and cuts on my body. I wasnt cold, maybe it was because I spent most of my time in here trying to understand. I yelled "why don't you be a man for once" the door swung back open faster than I could finish my sentence. "Are you fucking challenging me, you have no idea who you are dealing with". What have i done, could he be dangerous? I mean sure I'm chained up, cut, and naked but none of it bothers me. When he is around me I can see the care and fear in his eyes, maybe he's just as confused as me. After all he did kidnap me.

The promise of perfection

3 months ago. January 23, 2025 at 7:20 PM

Alot of people grow up with an idea of how they desperately want their lives to be or what they will do in their life to remain happy. However i find a common thread in each and every person. Those desires, ideas, etc tend to change with age.

Since i was a small child, I've alwaya dreamt of being a mom and having children. With this idea, I promised myself id ever be a young mom, as i was put under the care of people in their 50s when i was 2.5. They never had time...

When i was originally introduced to all things bdsm, my life changed forever except 1 thing. Mothorhood, and kids at a young age. When I tried to find a partner that marked all the boxes, i was quick to simply give up as I couldnt ever find someone.

Someone who wanted and knew everything i did, should i restart and train a dom? Should i go 10 years older? Should i compromise? Should i surpress....

Bingo! I met someone and due to my exhaustion chose to surpress my need to be a 24/7 slave. In the hopes of motherhood, after all having kids for women is a ticking time bomb and its better and safer to do it sooner. Where as serving in a 24/7 setting could happen at anytime.

Guilt.... why do i feel so damn guilty for this fantasy i have of irl servitude. I have it online to the best of my sir and I's time and my husband knows and is fine with it. So why not me? Why do i feel like I'm ruining everyones life, when everyone tells me they are happy and okay?

Is it because I am my worst enemy? Is it because my soul desperately knows my eagerness to serve? Maybe, its because my brain knows a perfect person doesnt exist in the way of turning back time and redoing everything. However my heart knows im doing the best i can and nothing is truly forever if change is needed.

Now if you have read this entire tiring and you are 40 or older, i have some questions but please understand its soely for education and in no way meant to sound judgmental. This are simply things im concerned about and am curious about insight.

Whats scene play like to you?

Do you feel your body cant take as much as maybe it once did?

Is it hard finding partners/dynamics?

And for all of you who do answer, i wanna thank you right off the bat, feel free to leave advice aswell as i love hearing other perceptives

MountaintopMaster - Turned 41 recently. Hurt my back the other day and it hasn't stopped hurting lol.

Just a few years ago, I could effortlessly pick up my sub and have my way with her, standing up, like a rag doll. Now, well, I gotta start taking my glucosamine again and eating more bananas for that potassium too!?

Okay, honestly, I'm actually doing great, physically. (Let's set aside the mental, inner turbulence for a later discussion, lol)

Honestly? I think that your blog post title is very spot-on. "The promise of perfection" is very tempting, but it is a false hope, in my opinion. Things often seem perfect when they're kept online, and they're just a supplement to IRL family life, parenthood, and the various intimate connections we all need to feel whole.

In reality, it's the not having something (IRL) that sustains the desire for it. What I mean is, if you do go ahead and get that thing IRL, ...eventually the thrill will probably fade. The burning desire will be conflicted and confused by having 24/7 unlimited access to that thing you wanted so badly.

I can't speak for all, of course, but as a dominant / top, I think of BDSM and dynamics as a heavy, dangerous mind-altering drug. That's how overwhelmingly satisfying it feels to indulge in what I want, IRL. And I have now learned the true value in moderation, restraint, anticipation, etc.

Only the tiniest percentage of the population will ever get that IRL dynamic that is truly healthy and sustainable 24/7.

In other words: should 100% of us spend our entire lives trying to attain something that we all know only 5-10% of us will ever achieve?

That's a terrifying question, indeed. My answer, for now, is an easy one. My role as a dominant is that of guide, teacher, and generally a "wise old man". My life has purpose when I am doing what is best for others; I do enough things that are "best for myself", so I am okay with not getting 100% of what I want in life, as long as I know I am helping others attain most of what they want in life.

Put another way: I've lost friends to tragic accidents because they did not know when to just "settle down" and stop chasing a higher adrenaline rush. Those accidents happen in remote wilderness areas, but the same can be applied to D/s and relationships in general.

If this sounds like an argument to "settle for less", then I'm happy to continue having the discussion and maybe change my mind, of course! ??

3 months ago

MountaintopMaster - Oh, and I should add, regarding your last question, "is it hard to find dynamics?" ...it is hard, in a sense, because I....don't want to go through the heartbreak again. I feel done. I've racked up too many deeply meaningful relationships now, and I just don't feel like I have much of my heart left that is still mine to give to a new dynamic. I have given too much of my heart away already, and I might never get those pieces back.

But, that's just how my brain is wired. I know that if I *wanted to*, it would be relatively easy to find a new dynamic. But I just know that it might forever live in the shadow of previous dynamics. So, is that really fair to the new partner?

In that sense, I'm...spent...

3 months ago

Sugarkitty(sub female) - 40 here. You are still young and in time you will realize almost everyone is “broken” in some way or another. But it’s broken in a good way. The blemishes are what make each of us unique. And whatever dreams you have, there is no perfection, only prioritization.

If you are prioritizing motherhood, your desire of servitude is the opportunity cost at this phase. But to your point of feeling guilty for this fantasy even when your husband is ok with it - I think it just takes practice for you to own all that is YOU. I feel like almost always, the most difficult part is not for others to accept who we are, but for us to accept ourselves for who we are.

Just my 2 cents ;)

3 months ago

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Bratty the Batty​(sub female)​{Owned}

Fantasy writing

The promise of perfection

Bratty the Batty(sub female){Owned}