Bratty the Batty(sub female){Owned}

Fantasy writing

He came in, and in that moment my heart dropped. I wasnt sure what i was feeling, whether it was fear or excitement. He caught me looking at him and in the moment he asked "should i let you go?". That question made my confusion worse, should he let me go? Should i stay? What would happen?. Without realizing it, i got out of my head and saw him looking puzzled. I havent answered his question yet, but how could I? I had to say something though, anything. I quickly replied back with "oh, i am in control now". What was that? What did that even mean? I didnt have much time to really think about that though because he quickly launched at me and said "excuse me, listen here you little slut, i can keep you as a slave, would you like that? OH MY GOD, why does he keep asking me questions, like I'm supposed to know. Ive never been in this situation before and i can barely figure out what I'm feeling, let alone express it. Before i knew it, he just walked away and closed the door again. There i was in this dark cold basement with no clothes on and cuts on my body. I wasnt cold, maybe it was because I spent most of my time in here trying to understand. I yelled "why don't you be a man for once" the door swung back open faster than I could finish my sentence. "Are you fucking challenging me, you have no idea who you are dealing with". What have i done, could he be dangerous? I mean sure I'm chained up, cut, and naked but none of it bothers me. When he is around me I can see the care and fear in his eyes, maybe he's just as confused as me. After all he did kidnap me.

Venting

3 months ago. January 15, 2025 at 5:26 PM

24/7 Service Submission

Some Context:

I entered into a non sexual online dynamic because I needed help staying consistent and accountable. Which at first it was amazing, I could feel my sub space again. The dom, My dom, he is great but can be super busy sometimes. After starting the dynamic, I realized very fast the urge to make him happy, proud, get his attention, etc continued to grow and grow. Now this is the problem; the dynamic is structured more as a friendship/mentorship then romantic relationship.

First problem:

I want more, I want him to control me, I crave 24/7 to any extent. I crave his attention, approval, his time. However, i have done nothing to earn it. I realized this today, I haven't earned anything. Sir has been so kind,patient, and helpful to me. What have I done for him? NOTHING. This made me cry, I've been so selfish, so focused on finally having someone there to help me in so many ways. Yet, what have I done for him? No wonder he is always busy or stressed....

Second problem:

This type of dynamic is closer to a M/S dynamic. However, not fully; simply because Sir still wants/needs a live in. Which I can not provide as im a married mom (yes my husband is aware i have a dom and no he does not care). "the nature of our dynamic we discussed was mainly to do check ins." I find this to be constantly confusing because I wanna serve to my full extent, I want to be used to please him, I want to be a good slave. However that is not what this dynamic is.

Third problem:

Sir and I are both poly, however I don't beileve Sir wants me. Yet, my feelings for him continue to grow and turn into a craving. I've already told him, I enjoy his voice. When I hint to a possible relationship or the possibility of more, it gets shut down because I'm not fully what he wants. This is hard because I love our dynamic but I struggle to tame myself. I struggle to not voice what I'm thinking. I struggle with boundaries....

I feel I have crossed so many lines, been a bad sub, useless, and selfish.... and at this point I don't even feel worthy enough for him but I also dont wanna lose him ? I think im in sub drop but if you read this, please leave anything helpful in your opinon and thank you for your time. I hope you have a wonderful day ❤️

Cello Trance{for You} - Being a Hypno Dom, I am in very similar relationships with people over the phone and I have also had subs/slaves mention the same thing to me …that they feel like they’re not giving me anything. Nothing can be further from the truth. They are giving me of themselves, which is the most precious gift of all. That is what you are doing to him. You were giving of yourself… your time, your spirit, your personality. You were putting everything into this and it’s obvious from what you wrote. You are not useless and you are not selfish. You are giving him all of yourself and all that you can. It’s a spiritual gift. Please do not think ill of yourself.

3 months ago

BunnyBites(sub female){HoK} - Your feelings are valid and it can be extremely difficult to feel things and want things when we crave it so much. We just cannot keep it locked up inside. We get a taste of who we really are, who we want to be and we need to dive into the deep end as fast as possible.

Slave/Submissive chaos, frenzy is a real thing.

What needs to happen is a deep breath and to slow it down just a little bit. Especially since you say you have a hard time with boundaries. It is always wise to slow it down in these moments.

The best thing is about having time. There is all the time in the world to taste everything life has to offer. So you can take a deep breath and relax a little bit and just enjoy the submissive moments you can offer your current Dominant.

Now I do have a question in return. You are married and you are desiring so much more in a M/s dynamic. You may not be the total package of your current Dominant but have you communicated with your husband about your needs for a TPE dynamic?

Is your husband interested in perhaps becoming your TPE Master? It would be perfect since you both are already married.

You could even tip toe into a 1950's household or if you are religious a taken in hand dynamic?

Also since you are Poly you could possibly find a Dominant locally as well that is willing to work with you being married?

3 months ago

Bratty the Batty(sub female){Owned} - So my husband is not a dom and the closest thing he can offer to tpe is that I'm a sahm. I would love him to be my master but he views bdsm as weird so he told me I can have my weird dynamics with someone else.

3 months ago

BunnyBites(sub female){HoK} - Well that is understandable and very kind of him to agree to that.

Well then in the mean time until you can find a Dom in person, then I would suggest just communicating your feelings to your online Dominant, and learning to breathe and slow things down.

3 months ago

Max Heathen(other male) - My opinion & suggestions:
Correct me if I'm wrong but in a summery nutshell: You find yourself falling in love with your Sir, though the dynamic seems to be for training, compatible dynamic desire, and convenience.
Your Sir respects your wedding vows and relationship with your husband so he withholds becoming deeply invested emotionally because you have seemly forgotten. Assuming your Sir is a "Good Man", He doesn't want to be the instrument of your marital destruction, which is where you're heading if ya don't calm your emotional tit's and remember that your husband is an equal priority in your Poly relationship, that you are bound to.
While you admit to see where you have neglected your Sir, by proxy, it says you're neglecting your husband also, because as it is with most humans, we tend to repeat our past and deny that's what we did, while our present course of action says "you're lying."... Mostly to yourself. Your Sir is probably trying to curb your greedy needs, while protecting himself because he wants 24/7 that you are unable to provide. If he did not want you around, he would probably kick you to the curb but at the same time he can't invest in you emotional because at the end of the day... You leave. Your Sir doesn't want your emotional transference, He'd rather be part of your on going successful marriage, playing his role.
Poly is sharing, giving equally to the best of your ability. You have had an epiphany and realized your short comings with your Sir and this is fantastic! What are going to do about it?
I suggest joyfully give your husband what he needs, then joyfully give your Sir what he needs. Communicate openly with both, and express the needs that you can receive from those two individuals. To the vanilla, ask Vanilla. To the Sir, ask kink. Love them both in the various forms that speaks to them individually and you'll find more fulfillment in both sides of your Poly relationship.
Just my opinion and suggestions, do as you wish.

3 months ago

MDaddyForHer(dom male) - What you are feeling is real. Yes.
Though as said before, you are in a poly relationship. You need to find that balance with your husband and your Dom. I know that can be difficult. From the Dom's point of view.
In my dynamic, I always stress the need for trust AND Communication. You need the balance between them to find the balance for yourself. Temper, control the frenzy you feel with that communication. Trust Must be kept. Or resentment. Hurt. And other problems will arise.
I hope the best for you, your husband and Dom. Remember, your Dom has feel,, depth and is invested in this too.
Best Regards and Hopes for you All.

3 months ago

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Bratty the Batty​(sub female)​{Owned}

Fantasy writing

Venting

Bratty the Batty(sub female){Owned}