Rolled for seduction, Now what?

So Last week I posted about some PJ shenanigans. And I was talking to kitten after the fact and she made a comment that we should have known we were kinky much earlier. You see we love nerf wars. It's a big part of our adolescent life. In high school, we'd get our group of friends together about once a month, run to the store by new nerf guns and have a massive nerf war in our local park. We nicknamed it the arsenal. Now after we became somewhat active our personal two-person nerf wars would end up with someone tied up and chasing or hunting the other person down in some silly spy game. it was about a year later where we decided to officially explore kink... despite already practicing it intermixed with firing nerf darts at one another. Now spy games are also a fun twist on primal play and can make some fun bondage scenes as well. 

There's an old D&D joke that a natural 1 and a natural 20 are the same when seducing a zombie. And I love it because sometimes failures prevent a much worse thing from happening and success well you jumped the pit successfully but you never checked the other side to see if the ground was stable... and yesterday morning I had a task fail successfully. I don't really sleep much so when I can sleep in I love it. Yesterday was one of those days. And when we woke up we cuddled and then playfully wrestled and then I started to undress her. I never got her pajama top off completely but I ended up finding out that her pajama top twisted just right bound up her hands and arms nicely. So our cuddle session ended up with some lovely morning-bound sex using nothing but a shirt. She was not happy that her shirt betrayed her like that... But she was quick to forgive and we had a fun although late start to our morning. 

So I'm a little late for thanksgiving stories. But here we are anyway. So my inlaws were in town and it was lovely to see them and all. Unfornetly it meant only the turkey got stuffed but you win some you lose some. However, it was very entertaining. Outside of being set up for some wonderful jokes I couldn't say about their daughter in front of them. But the best was my mother-in-law asked my kitten to teach her how to top. I think they were talking about baking but mom got distracted and I was sitting there trying not to die laughing while they continued with their conversation. What can I say family holidays are always funny when you have a kinky mind. There were many other wonderfully funny moments though time and some Christmas shenanigans have made the Thanksgiving ones a little hazy. That being said hopefully there will be plenty more kinky fun before the holidays are over and we call this season a wrap. Maybe I'll even put a bow on kitten. 

So I saw a post hating on brats today and it just bothered me. I get that the brat and brat tamer dynamic is not for every but still no need for the hate man. But I just wanted to give a shout-out to brats. my favorite subclass of submissives. Pun intended. Brats are fun they are playful and with the right dom, it's a great combo its a ton of fun and a bond like no other. Brats are some of the most loyal and loving people I have ever met They also look really good tied up and suspended. (we found out on Halloween. But that's a story for another blog.) Now that I've bragged about my brat I need to think of some new tasks for her and a few more creative punishments. Also some new toys... Is kinkmas a thing? what about a kink advent calendar. I feel like a festive kink would be perfect for my brat. Toss some ideas in the comments and let me know! I guess I got a little off track tonight but hey that's life! We're finally settled going on our kinky adventures and I started up both of my blogs again and have a plan for kinky things this week so I'll let myself slide a bit for being off track. 

So The move is more or less complete! I got a manic to practice shibari harnesses on which is kinda cool and we went to a fetish night at a local club and got turned on to (pun intended) some local BDSM Groups to check out! I think we're on our way and ready for a new adventure. Hell I even updated my profile on the other site for the first time in a while. Got to say I still prefer The Cage but finding others seems to be a bit more of the other site's speed. Now all I got to do is inventory our gear, and maybe see what else we need. (+2 cuffs of binding anyone?) So to all you out there May all your rolls be nat 20s and may all your dungeons be the fun kind!

So I've talked about how we're interested in primal play and turns out we absolutely love it! and looking for info and just different ways to engage with it so we can begin to work on a scene I stumbled on something I had thought of in years. When I was in undergrad the local kink group was planning a Hunt where Primal play types (before I really knew what it was) could play in the great outdoors. Subs would be scantily clad and would run through the woods and hills while chased by the group of doms. Now they had different ways of denoting who was only ok playing with their pair and who was cool playing with anybody and everybody. The concept intrigued me but due to school and being in an LDR we were unable to go. I forgot about the concept because I didn't realize how much of a Primal I really was. Honestly, I didn't realize until I was talking to kitten this week and we realized how most of our stuff in one way or the other connected back to it or fit in very well. But that's beside the point. I got to thinking about how much fun something like that would be with the right group of people. But also how does one do it? Like indecent exposure is a real crime and with a large group, it could be difficult to pull off with multiple pairs. And individually it does sound fun but outside of the legal implications, I wouldn't want to bring in or bump into people who weren't playing. I know it's possible and down the road, I hope to give it a go but my mind just began going a million miles a minute thinking of participating in a hunt sounds like it would be a good time and could feed into our exhibitionist side as well. Also, outdoor sex is just a good time. I've always fancied myself to be a ranger. Maybe one of these days I'll get to prove it? I'd love to hear stories of anyone who gave it a try. 

A little late for a midweek sonnet, but here we are and here it is! enjoy!

It is Saturday and I prepare.

Laying out all I have in store for you.

My dearest love, kitten sweet and fair,

Tied, blindfolded giving sir perfect view.

Start with the flogger, lovely red marks

Then we move to sensation, cold ice

And hot wax tracing rivulets and arcs

Marking you as mine does entice.

Keeping you bound is how we’ll spend the day.

Then sweet vanilla massage and  bath,

A gentle loving wrap-up to our play.

Our hearts are bound  we make our path

It’s Saturday evening and we hold

tight together our love like gold

It's a short one tonight but a fun one. So I mentioned it a while ago. Like a long while ago that I wanted to run a kink-themed game. My issue was DnD 5e was just not a good fit. Sure you could flavor it and I still might as a one-shot. But I found a system that is literally just the bare-bones mechanics. It can be flavored to be anything from highfantasty, to sci fi to zombies to dora the explorer. And I think this might be fun to use to make it. However, like all things, there's just one problem. Now I can do... Kinksters in space! BDSM in Middle Earth, Dominatrix and Dungeons, etc. To many options but that just means it'll have to be a cheesy serial series. However... It'll have to be on the back burner as I've got to work on a 5e campaign for my main group and then a pet project of a Conan the Barbarian-themed game. But maybe at a kink convention, a group could get together or hell just have con-sponsored games. I could see that working out. 

So I know I just blogged the other day. But I got to thinking after my last post. About how I could be more romantic and caring for my kitten. And I remember a while ago I promised her (and you guys) bad kink poetry. It's not my strong suit but it is sweet and filled with love. So... here's a sonnet I've been working on. I don't think it's in the proper Iambic pentameter but it's been a few years and the syllabus and theme are correct. I'm taking it as a win and am Pretty happy with it for being out of practice. Without further ado... I present Bound:

You who brought the idea of cuff, ropes

to bind you tight for gain of passions throes.

A path that led to perilous slopes

but now with each knot love and trust grows.

Oh how our adventure just begun.

New roles and places we find that fit. 

Now bound together complete, one. 

Dynamic, we built with love, and grit. 

Building us into something more. 

strength in submission you discovered

Made vulnerable in my core,

domination show me uncovered.

Submissive and tied you have bound

my heart true dominant I have found

So what is love? Some of you probably replied with"Baby don't hurt me... don't hurt me. No more." and you would be right. But I had a more particular definition from my favorite homicidal droid HK-47:

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, 'love' is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and strangely enough, not many meatbags would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose... against statistically long odds..." HK-47 from Knights of the old republic. And while this is a very silly quote. I thought of it after reading a post from a favorite blogger of mine on love. And well it struck home in a weird way. You see my kitten and I are separated physically at the moment. I had an opportunity to spend time with my family I haven't seen in a few years and she made it work so that I could.

Unfournetly she couldn't necessarily join me for the full time so we're back to long distance. It's not that long and she's not that far so we've seen each other a few times. But it makes me think back to when we were in college making our Highschool relationship survive long distances, drama, growing, and figuring out who we really are (though that's still an ongoing process.) and it's made me realize how much I miss her, how much I need and crave her. And I don't mean just in the physical sense. Sure that's there too we were discussing what scenes we should plan and a few cool things in the kink community she found in our new home and it felt like my skin was burning I wanted her so badly.

But that subsided and I realized I missed the aftercare. The little parts of our dynamic that bleed into our day-to-day lives. we don't do a 24/7 lifestyle but we definitely have aspects of the dynamic around at all times and I miss that as well.  We've done the long-distance thing before so we know how to handle it and we finally got the Lush 2 and will hopefully be playing with that soon. but the separation has given me time to think and given me time away from an unhealthy environment that I was in and letting myself get impacted by more than I should of.

Before we left the midwest to head back to the mountains. (Mountains how I've missed you) she sat me down and we had a very open and honest talk about her needs. (thank you kink for the communication we've developed.) You see I wasn't meeting either of our needs but especially hers where it came to the dynamic or the relationship in general. She wasn't mad and was very supportive and understanding of my struggles and being exhausted by work and the area we were in. And she simply asked me that when we move if I could be a bit more attentive and romantic. our version is usually a mix of flowers and ropes, paddles, and hot wax. But you know to each their own. I told her I would and I plan to. I knew I hadn't been at my best and that I had dropped the ball. 

I've heard the phrase never stop dating your wife and I used to live by that. And she had never stopped dating me. But I grew complacent. Now, this is not meant to be a negative or woe is me post. Life is full of turns and we all slip up and need those gentle reminders from time to time. And as things go I like to think that even when I was complacent I was still a decent husband and dom. No the real point of this post is to praise my Kitten. It was to set the scene of how amazing she is. As a switch who primarily doms I always knew that being a sub might be a bit too hardcore for me. Not because I don't like submitting but because they are tough as nails. I used to think being a Dom meant no insecurity and no vulnerability. But I now know that is way off base thanks to her. It's about being able to communicate and support another person confidently sure. And subs by their very nature seem to embrace the vulnerable parts of themselves and make that their strength. That's the opposite of me. 

But from my perspective as her Dom, it's also about giving a dom space to be insecure and vulnerable to support them and find their ways both as a dominant and as a partner. To put it in my normal terms subs are the best support players there because if they do their job right You don't know half the work they do and how much effort and energy they spend on the relationship. I'm not a good dom or husband on my own. I am a good dom and husband because she gives me the space to be and patience for me to figure it out sometimes. Now because I know she'll argue that she's not perfect and probably get uncomfortable that I'm painting her to be the goddess that she is. My kitten is not perfect but that's just another one of her strengths we have room to be perfectly flawed people in our relationship and to support each other to become the best versions of ourselves. It's one of the things I love about kink. We get to be open and vulnerable with each other and we've learned to communicate better and express our needs without animosity. 

So while I miss my kitten I appreciate the time that I have to pine after her and miss her so bad it hurts. I appreciate the time I've had to reflect on her and our dynamic and our relationship. I appreciate the time I've had to think over my own failings (and success but I'll save tooting my own horn for a post not praising how much of a good girl my kitten is.) And how I can improve. I appreciate all this and her most of all. But while distance makes the heart grow fonder... It really fucking sucks at the same time.