Literally Just Love Meeeeeeeeeeee

B L O N D I E​(sub female) - I think some dominants (like everyone else on the planet) just want a quick hookup whereas others want love, romance, and a deeper connection. For the first type, D/s is more of a game where the submissive plays the part of trusting and the dominant plays the part of taking responsibility for the submissive's wellbeing. It's an act on both sides. The deeper levels of trust and responsibility come later--a lot later after both parties learn about and come to depend on each other.

PrinceMatcha​(sub trans man) - Do you think a dom and sub could keep from the dynamic instead of diving into it /then/ getting on deeper levels of trust? I just can’t wrap my head around subbing for someone if I don’t love and trust them

B L O N D I E​(sub female) - If both parties want to keep it casual, then yes, neither will allow it to deepen. It will be similar to just having causal sex but with kink thrown in. Speaking just for myself, I did this with a few people before I met my current Master J.. I have learned from being with him that I couldn’t go back to the casual style of doing things simply because it isn't what I really want. I want the real thing, not a fake version of it.

moll​(other female){owned slav} - Not all Dom/sub or Master/slave relationships are or become romantic. Some relationships are just built on mutual need of control...sometimes it's something the romantic partner cannot provide. It doesn't mean that they don't have love for each other, it's just not what's considered to be romantic love. Some Masters/Doms don't have sexual relations with their slave/sub. Also D/s and M/s relationships don't always contain an S&M component.

A friend of my Master's and I has a slave/wife, but his beta sub is married to a different man. She loves her husband, and he loves her, but he can't give her the control/discipline that she craves and his job takes him away from home a good amount of time. It's all out in the open and the husband and the Master are good with the dynamic.
If you want to be in a relationship with a Dominant that has a romantic aspect, then that is what you should strive for, but you already seem to know that requires much more patience because you want...need a relationship built on more than just a mutual kink.

Someone once said to me, a kink relationship is built on a vanilla foundation.

PrinceMatcha​(sub trans man) - Really well said! Especially the last point — kink built on vanilla foundation. Good point!

sexycurves​(sub female) - Yes, you can find a Dom/sub with romance and deep connections.

Like others have said, it depends what you're looking for and the dynamic doesn't have to be sexual.

But yes it's possible to have a Dom/sub dynamic with a deep connection and romance with kink thrown in

Veejay​(dom male){BaeBGirl} - It’s always spoken as if the trust and vulnerability comes only from the submissive. If the dynamic is what it should be, that should go both ways. Showing that side of myself is a tremendous act of trust and vulnerability, as it runs so counter to all other aspects of my personality.

PrinceMatcha​(sub trans man) - You make a good point, especially the “going both ways.” I guess sometimes we forget even doms can be taken advantage of!