I’m mad at myself for getting involved (again) when you asked because I was afraid that you might be my last chance at finding my person in this lifestyle, when you never had any intentions of me being your person. I was one of several and I know that doesn’t work for me.
I’m mad at myself because I allowed my fear of missing out on experiences put me back in a place that wasn’t ultimately good for me.
I am mad at myself for thinking this time could be different. My bad, that’s on me. I knew deep down that it wouldn’t and I said yes anyway. I apologize to you and to myself for that one.
What I am not mad at myself for is showing up, with hope, willingness, openness, honesty, trust and vulnerability. I put myself out there 100% and that’s a big step for me. I held nothing back. But the experience reinforced what I knew in my heart to be true about myself. I won’t settle or accept anything less in the future.