Truth

• I want a partner but do I need one?
• I’m surviving on my own, but am I thriving?
• I miss having someone to talk with every day but I also value my privacy and alone time - can I have both?
• Sex is good but the emotional/mental connection is what makes it great for me.
• I want to let go but it scares me.
• i can take care of my own shit but I don’t always want to, it would be nice to have someone say “it’s ok baby, I got this”
• Trust doesn’t come easily or quickly for me but should I trust until someone gives me a reason not to?
• Why can’t I just let the tears flow? Am I afraid that I’ll get too consumed by them and not be able to pull myself back up?
• Will I ever find a partner to share my life with? Part of me is really scared about the idea of ending up alone.
• Why does the idea of disappointing people terrify me? Would it have been better if my parents just disciplined me differently when I did something bad instead of giving me the dreaded “we are disappointed in you” lecture?
• What if I’ve missed my last chance at finding a D/s relationship? 
• Do I need in person or could I live with online? 

And yes, I’ve talked with my therapist about a lot of this, but that doesn’t mean it’s still not swirling around in my brain.  Thank you if you made it all the way through this rambling post, I know that I need to figure these things out for myself,