I haven't felt well.
I've been bopping in and out of "existence" lately, trying to keep up with life's demands and there's no balance.
I work. So not a lot of time to socialize when getting home at 8pm and I still need to eat, shower, prepare for the next day.
I feel like I've gained weight. I haven't; but I hadn't lost any either. My job is sedentary so I don't get the opportunity to get up (god forbid, they'd ask me why I was away from my desk! [They're really not that bad but you cant really just get up and walk around]).
I have some things to (in one case, nervously) look forward to. Going to Kinky Kollege with Redtailedkitty was a very VERY last minute opportunity I was presented with that I just couldnt turn down. Last 2 tickets? I got em. Fight me.
Also going to Arizona in April for vacation. I'll miss the brisk mountain air of our normal vacation spots but I hear they have mountains too; just...hot.
I know the kink community is supposed to be about acceptance, no shaming, and going to the con at my weight would be fine. I look "fine"..but I don't feel fine and I feel about as sexy as a rotten turnip. SO!..my heavy lard ass really has got to do something to lose some weight so I'm not DEAD weight. I've tried..ohh well about a hundred things and I either get lazy (yep, admitting it), bored, or I lose steam, give up, lose motivation. "What's the point, I'll never not be fat".
But I'm gonna try. And I say the same things every time I start something new like "oh this could really work if I just 'insert some miniscule motivator here'". But ive got something in my back pocket so we'll see.
Monday, March 4th 2019-a new beginning? Maybe.