My desire to cherish and adore my partner comes to some extent from the environment I lived in. My father believed he was justified not to assist my mother in any ways after work but instead he would use his free time to rest and complain. Afterwards, there was the divorce and soon later she remarried with someone who appeared to be Prince Charming at first, helpful, considerate, accepting. He was ready to do house chores when asked. Sooner it was apparent it was an illusion. It was just a different version of my father.
As I began living with them, I helped her with most of the chores around the house. I was never angry about this, I was just upset how the men in my mom's life made her suffer. When I was not around living with them she had to do everything again and received no help even in more crucial moments. I never understood why her lovers did not help her. What's the big fuzz of doing some chores around the house if you could make her feel better?
Many times when doing these jobs I imagined myself having a lover and doing these chores for her. She would never have to worry about such things and much others as I would be there nurturing her . She would be happy and could enjoy her life more. I hoped this would eventually end up being real. I still am.
