Memories and what's to come

Perhaps somebody might find the below interesting. Just a very quick summary regarding some aspects of submissions discussed in the book. The book is over 100 pages long. so there's more to it there to see.  

In the book "Uniquely Rika" Ms. Rika addresses some misconceptions regarding submission. According to her: 

• A dominant woman should not micromanage her sub. It is the submissive job to make her life easier not harder! While a submissive would have a routine to follow, he should attempt to anticipate her wants in advance.
• There is a lot of fantasy flowing on the internet, where submissives live in a cage in a dungeon. However, this is just a fantasy.
• A submissive should not except rewards for his submission. The partner would offer gifts to him when she wants, but not as a reward. 
• Chastity does not fuel submission according to it. Putting a man in this device will not make him the dream partner. "The fact is, a truly submissive man will retain his chastity without such a device, and he will work hard to avoid letting his testosterone level affect his performance as a submissive."

Feel free to leave a comment on the below if you agree or not with what was presented. Also if you have something additionally  to add. 

The below is quick summary of two short books written by Sharyn Ferns: "Find a dominant woman "  and "How to write an awesome online profile". Maybe somebody might find some points useful or you may wish to argue in comments why you disagree with what is presented below. Perhaps some of the points below could also be used for the opposite sex. 

How to write an awesome online profile

• Profiles are a form of marketing. Based on it you might make her interested in wanting to know more about you.
• Try to insert stellar qualities
• Keep in mind that your profile won't appear to everyone regardless your effect
• Check for grammar and punctuation
• Ask people for input about how your profile looks like
• Don't post pictures of your pecker

There is also a sample written profile posted by the author in the book that meets the criteria

Find a dominant woman 

It's a short book offering some tips how to find someone who is interested in domination (not necessary FLR).

There are some useful tips on understanding what a woman wants. She wants to see compatibility , to like and feel safe with you. Book mentions to be clear  what you are looking for. Also to have a good profile and also take a note that your potential partner could also review your activity on the online platforms. 

Other tips include treating the person like a normal human.  If the platform used has this feature, also join vanilla groups and talk about your non kinky interests. Book mentions not giving tributes to those demanding, advise on how to start a conversation (such as not mentioning your kinks) and also offers some sample conversation starters.

This applies to men searching for a dominant partner but some principles might apply to the opposite gender.

Before contacting / replying to an ad or personal message from a dominant I recommend taking note of the following:

• When was her account created? If she just made an account recently and she is messaging you/ posting ads, this might seem fishy.
• Are the pictures on her profile real? You should try to reverse image search if they seem off. Yandex image search is a good engine for that. It seems to work better than google image search.
• If she tells you to contact her outside thecage and provides you an username or phone number, google that info and see if it leads you somewhere.
• Check the writing skills used in her profile, ad or message you received. Some of those ads/ about me page are really well written and often in a sensual way. Copy 1 or 2 sentences from there and google to see if that text appeared somewhere else such as a pro domme website. 
• If she asks you in her ad to refer to her as "Mistress" keep it mind this might be suspicious. Majority would not want a  stranger call them like this at first.  
• Which blogs does she follow? Does she blog? Does she follow anyone else in here?

After getting in contact:

• Try having a casual conversation and avoid providing too many details about yourself early on. If she starts to refer to you as slave and has some demands then walk out.
• How articulate are they in the conversations? If they claim to live in an English speaking country but their English is poor , that person is likely not even living in that country.

If somebody has some other suggestions feel free to enter them below.

Like some old song by Buddy Holly was saying "I'm Lookin' For Someone To Love". Ok, excluding that part in the song where he's going to find someone else to "love" given that she is not there in that moment.

So, I'd like to find someone to love , with whom I could connect emotionally. It's not the kink aspect that I am really that interested, it's the mental connection. I'd like my partner to be freed of a lot of obligations that normally occur for women when in a relationships. To help her be able to focus her time as she wants, with me at her side fulfilling her needs. To share a lot of nice moments, learn more about her, share hobbies with her , try to make her happy.

I am open minded by a lot of things and I am sure that when that person comes along we can agree how things will be run. I do however need something important for the relationship to work. Love is what I need.

My desire to cherish and adore my partner comes to some extent from the environment I lived in. My father believed he was justified not to assist my mother in any ways after work but instead he would use his free time to rest and complain. Afterwards, there was the divorce and soon later she remarried with someone who appeared to be Prince Charming at first, helpful, considerate, accepting. He was ready to do house chores when asked. Sooner it was apparent it was an illusion. It was just a different version of my father.

As I began living with them, I helped her with most of the chores around the house. I was never angry about this, I was just upset how the men in my mom's life made her suffer. When I was not around living with them she had to do everything again and received no help even in more crucial moments. I never understood why her lovers did not help her. What's the big fuzz of doing some chores around the house if you could make her feel better?

Many times when doing these jobs I imagined myself having a lover and doing these chores for her. She would never have to worry about such things and much others as I would be there nurturing her . She would be happy and could enjoy her life more. I hoped this would eventually end up being real. I still am.

Even from a young age I rooted for strong female characters on TV. My first female crush was from a TV series called Weird Science. She had super powers. The show could not exist without her as she was the key of everything that would happen to everyone in the show.

When watching cartoons as a young boy I rooted a lot with female characters. However, there were few cartoons I saw where the females were protagonists, so I started to root with the female villains that showed up in some episodes. They put obstacles to the hero and I wanted them to win. I liked the idea of the women winning there, even if their cause was not justified. Of course, the male hero would always win.

After the episode ended, I started to fantasize of the female villain beating the hero instead. Furthermore, I transformed the female villain my mind. Her causes were justified. She was no longer a villain. She wanted to make the world a better place and I helped her achieve that. A better place than the male hero could do.