Consent. It's one of the most important tools used when negotiating play and relationship dynamics. It transcends kink interests, gender identity, sexual identity, relationship roles... everything. How we use consent determines the what, where, when, how we play, and more. It's important to know that there is no gray area with consent as it's only given or revoked with an enthusiastic or firm yes or an enthusiastic or firm no. It's also important to know that consent is on a moment-to-moment basis. This means that consent can be given one moment and revoked the next without reason.
While we know that there is no gray area when using consent, there are several different ways consent can be used. The list below offers multiple types of consent and their meaning:
Affirmative - This is explicit, voluntary consent. (the enthusiastic yes)
Conditional - Granting consent with conditions or stipulations. (i.e. I'll do an impact scene but only with spanking and floggers but not with paddles)
Contractual - Mutually agreed upon consensual acts within a written and signed contract. (**please note BDSM contracts are NOT enforceable in a court of law)
Enthusiastic - Seeking the presence of a yes as opposed to the absence of a no. (A firm yes)
Implied - Consent that is granted by actions or obvious body language and not granted verbally.
Informed - Consent that is granted after being fully informed on all aspects of play. (Commonly used in consensual-non-consent (CNC))
Substituted - Consent that is granted to another for the purposes of negotiation and consent. (i.e. a Dominant granting consent for their submissive to play with a Dominant outside of their relationship)
Now that we know what consent means and how it's used, it's important to remember that, no matter what your role is, you have a voice. Use your voice, and make it work for you. Use consent every time you negotiate. This will keep you safe and will ensure that you're following the path to SSC play.
