Its taken me decades to understand my heart, it seems to be immensely vast and full of exciting things. yet it has trouble had trouble communicating with my brain. Even with its size, it tends to fill up quickly and intensely. I've never been a “normal” person, I’ve never been able to maintain what “normal people call relationships, or in my case vanilla relationships. Jealousy, greed, and hypocrisy have all been part of why these relationships implode inside my heart, leaving black holes on the curtain of my universe. I've come to think about my heart as just that, an immense universe with different layers, yes layers that you could maybe compare to those of a tree or an onion, or even maybe the rings around Saturn.
Each one of these levels occupies a level of hierarchy within my heart and as a relationship grows it enters deeper and deeper into those layers sometimes occupying multiple layers. I’ve had many people travel this universe, some stay in the outer reaches, such as good acquaintances or friends, others grow stronger and deeper, as we start sharing experiences and history, and others get to the innermost levels where the necessity of physical touch isn't even necessary to be able to know and feel the passion and love between us. Those you confess your darkest fears to, those who get to know your darkest secrets and stay by your side no matter what. We all have needs and desires, a plethora of things during our lifetime, not all of these things can be supplied by one person or even a group of people. By being sincere about what and who I am I’ve encountered a vast variety of stars to fill my universe with.
Bonds that each on its own has a story, a past a present, and a future. And each one is different because we are all different, and we are all looking to be happy within ourselves and with others. some of these bonds will leave black holes in y universe, some will forever enter my soul and become one within my heart. As for today, I am happy to understand how my heart works, I have beautiful relationships that maintain the balance of the energy within me, and even when some may implode into black holes, my other bonds grow stronger every day because only with trust and sincerity do bonds becomes unbreakable.