I've been thinking lately about how I'm finding my own "flavor" of M/s. While E is training me as my current Master, at some point we will go our own ways and I will take what I've learned to a new relationship.
There are quite a few versions of M/s and O/p, and some aren't really my thing. But that's ok 😄 I read through a lot of things and it's helpful in ruling things out.
I'm not of the opinion that women are inferior to men. I've seen this out there from both men and women, and it's just not my thing. I don't think women are any less important than men. Lol hard to have an O/p relationship without the p, right? That's my opinion anyway.
While I do believe in equal pay for equal work, I am not a feminist. I like the idea of having roles in a relationship.
I LOVE feeling owned. I find freedom in being a slave, in letting go of all the behaviors I use to cope in the man's world every day and just be a girl. I feel free to be silly, sexy, affectionate, and girly. I feel free to serve instead of lead - and I also feel cared for and guided by E, which I love.
I love kneeling for E, and I love providing sexual service - we have focused on that quite a bit since I needed Sex Ed 101 - lol I wasn't that familiar with my body and how good sex could really feel. I need to please and obey E, and it makes me happy to do so. And he enjoys giving me pleasure, which is something I would like in a future Master as well.
What about domestic service? This I've been thinking about a lot lately. I've hated doing domestic chores for a long time, but I've realized that a lot of that is because my ex was a lazy sack of crap who didn't do anything at all.
But . . . I think I might enjoy domestic chores more if I had a real partner. A Master, who would take care of the guy type stuff, while I take care of my stuff. I think it would make a huge difference to have a solid partnership. I really do enjoy doing things for people that I care about.
There are still other things to think about. Monogamy? I'm not sure I would want to be part of a household with other slaves or serve someone who is also in a vanilla marriage, which I have also seen. I think of M/s for me as more of a one-on-one relationship. Poly seems to be difficult to pull off for a lot of people, and ethical non-monogamy seems like fancy language for fucking around. Again, this is my opinion.
I read profiles as well, and personal ads are pretty descriptive about what some people are looking for. There's the Dom who wants to share his sub with all his friends, while wearing 5-inch stilettos of course - her, not him lol. Old foot injuries mean that if I'm wearing a heel over 2 inches, I would not be putting my weight on them - if my feet are in the air, then ok.
But sharing with his friends? Hmmm, I don't know that I'd like that. I think I would not feel very valuable, and I want to feel valued. I guess you could argue that he is so proud of her skills that he wants to show her off, but I still feel kind of skeezy about it. To me valued means someone is a bit possessive of me. I'd have to think on this one some more if I was interested in someone who felt strongly about sharing.
MFF threesome relationships seem fairly common, or I'll say commonly requested anyway. I would say I'm curious about women. I've been attracted to a few over the years but never acted on it. BUT I'm very very fond of dick, and to the man it's attached to. I love the way a man smells, I love his voice, the shelter of his arms - a threesome with a woman would probably be fun but I'm not sure about the relationship part.
But you're a slave, you say, and your Master decides what you will or won't do!
Yes, but this is where you choose your Master very carefully. I won't use words like true, or real, because they are subjective. I think I'd like a careful Master, someone who is willing to grow in a relationship over time. Someone to work towards surrendering my limits with, to work towards allowing him full power over me in the areas that we agree upon.
Seriously, you only want to give up your limits with someone whose limits are acceptable to you, and his must-haves don't hit your hard limits. Pushing limits can be done and maybe should be expected, but I want someone who will take care with me.
At this moment in time, I feel like I'd eventually like a Master I could fall in love with, who would love me in return. Is that weird? I'm recently divorced so not ready for that right now, but at some future time I'll be ready for it.
Based on what I've learned so far about M/s and myself, I'd like an old-fashioned relationship, two of us, with him as Master or Owner, and me as slave or property. This gives me a happy little smile thinking about it.
The beauty of websites like this and others is that there are many types of people that practice many types of M/s. And I'm eternally optimistic when it comes to finding love, so there's that. We'll just see what happens down the road.
I know I'm missing more stuff, but I'll get there. This all takes research and time and care from an excellent trainer helping a newbie to figure herself out, and I'm lucky enough to have that excellent trainer :)
