1.Be Patient...
"To the Dominant, I say this"..
Until you enter into a relationship with a submissive you have no more right to order her around then any one else.
Give your submissive time to get to know you and what you are like, finesse and subtlety are major elements of Dominance. Similarly strength and gentleness go hand in hand.
The sensitivity and awareness (or lack thereof) that you show in the real world is likely to be repeated in the playroom.
A sub may be a sub, but she isn't your sub until you both agree to it.
"To the submissive this"...,
A potential Dominant will let you know if they are interested in you or not.
Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realization of your fantasies.
Don't expect your Dominant to turn on like a light switch. The timing must be right for both of you.
A Dominant may exhibit a Dominant personality, but don't assume he's your Dom unless you both agree to it.
2. Be Humble...
"To the Dominant, I say this":
You may be gods gift to the world but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it.
You will have ample opportunities to show how good you are and plenty of opportunities to make a fool of yourself.
No matter what you claim, the 'real you' will show through in a scene.
Don't set yourself up for a failure by developing expectations that you know you can never reach.
"To the submissive I say this"...
You may be gods gift to the world but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it, you will have ample opportunity to show how good you are.
No matter what you are the real you will show through in a scene.
Don't set your self up for failure by developing expectations that you know you will never allow a Dominant to produce within you.
Be open...
"To the Dominant I say this"...
Although you are considered to be the teacher in the dynamic you can always learn from your submissive, no matter how inexperienced.
Be willing, as well to learn from other Dominants who may have a totally different perspective from yours.
Try to approach with an attitude of discovery.
Be aware that everyone has her or his own personal style.
There is a diffrence between B/d, D/s S/m but they go hand in hand. Learn the difference. Strive to be professional.
"To the submissive I say this"...
You can learn something about S/m and about yourself from everyone into the scene no matter how inexperienced they are, or how Dominant or submissive they are B/d, S/m, D,s is a very personal craft and an "I already know it all" attitude will make you miss valuable lessons and experiences and ignore potentially valuable D/s friends
4. B Honest...
"To the Dominant I say this"...
If you lack experience in an area that your submissive would like to experiment with, be honest about it.
Your partner has a right to know that.
Be honest with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels at which you are completely comfortable with in taking control of the situation. Saftey should always be the first concern.
Taking priority over how hot a particular scene is.
Learn to recognize the signs of physical or emotional distress and learn how to deal with it, before during and after.
"To the submissive I say"...
Don't be afraid to share your needs and fantasies. Your Dominant expects it.
Honesty about your wants, turn-offs is essential to a good scene.
Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the Dominant will base the scene on inaccurate information.
Besides causing problems it can be dangerous. Never be to stubborn to use your safe word for fear it may displease your Dom.
If he can't get over it then he's not the Dom for you.
5.Be Realistic...
"To the Dominant I say"...
End the scene with the submissive wanting more, not wishing there had been less.
Remember that power, control are the keys.
Not just the intensity of the stimulation.
Be clear about what is fantasy and has little to do with what works in practice, your favourite porno videos and picture books may be stimulating in themselves, but don't try to imitate them to the last detail. That's all scripted Hollywood.
It's not real.
"To the submissive I say this"...
Your Dominant is human, and even the most experienced have moments of awkwardness and indecision.
Dont call attention to what you perceive as a lapse or error.
Know the diffrence between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and videos.
6. Be Sensitive...
" To the Dominant I say"...
There is a very fine line between a sensitive, caring Dominant and a self-righteous, insensitive overbearing fool.
Your scene should be a creative synthesis of the needs and fantasies of both you and your submissive.
Although on the surface, your submissive is serving you, what actually is happening is that Dominant and submissive are serving each other.
Earn the complete trust of your submissive and never violate or even threaten to violate that trust. You only have as much control as she gives you.
Get over yourself.
"To the submissive I say"...
Your scene is a two-way street. It's not just the physical realization of your prior fantasies.
If you want to limit your experience to certain physical and psychological stimulation, then contract with your Dominant ahead of time, but don't always expect your Dominant to be a puppet in a fantasy play you’ve written in your head. It's far better to let your Dominant surprise you, to extend your limits, to take you places you're never been before.
When you trust your Dominant completely, let them know it, and let them guide you into new fantasies.
But if it feels like abuse, then it's abuse.
You have the power to stop it.
7. Be Genuine..
"To the Dominant I say this"...
Submissive are looking for someone who will take over their body and mind, not just for brute strength.
Real people are wanted, not just cardboard images or macho stereotypes.
Your Dominance enhances your whole existence.
It does not cover up or substitute for other areas in your life... it is You.
Make your submissive fall in love with you, and expect him or her to give him/herself up to you totally.
Follow up on rules, expect obedience and punish appropriately when it is called for.
Don't shirk your responsibility to the submissive or the creed of Dominants.
Be dependable and expect dependability.
You have agreed to take the Dominant role, now take it.
"To the submissive I say"...
You have taken this title as you wish to be controlled, directed, owned.
This is the whole point.
Let your Dominant take over completely.
Don't coach or second guess or be critical of your Dominant.
Exchange special needs before the scene starts.
You have agreed to limitations of your own power.
Stay within those limitations.
Respect and obey your Dominant and expect punishment if you don’t.
Your Dominant has many things to be concerned with, including your safety and what turns you on.
Be loyal and dependable and enjoy your role.
8. Be healthy
" To you both I say"
Like any strenuous activity it requires its participants to be in good physical and emotional health.
The amount you both sleep, your drug and alcohol intake and everyday stress effect your response and endurance during a scene.
Don't attempt when your physical or emotional is low.
Of you are unable to except the Responsibilities that entering into a scene requires, then say so.
Never hold the other in resentment when they do this.
Accept and support the fact they cannot be as demanding or responsive as you would like.
Support them and aid them into returning to a physical or emotional state wherein D/s both in health and happiness.
9. Communicate
" To you both I say this"...
Communication is the foundation of a trusting relationship.
Never close the door to honest communications between the two of you.
Always discuss the essentials when entering into a relationship such as experience, limits, needs, wants, likes and dislikes health and well being.
Do not assume the other is a mind reader.
Spell out roles and contracts and rules and agree to them.
Respect safe words and signals.
Never close the door to continued communication, set aside times where you can both sit down and discuss things freely and without repercussions.
10. Have fun...
You both have earned it, and you both are entitled to unique, intense pleaures which come from responsible, creative and safe BDSM play.