Looking help being safe

My partner is a male heterosexual who acts like a brat and submissive but I don't think he realizes it. I don't know how to bring it up. I think he would be open to a bdsm relationship as we have done light restraint play but I want to do more. He definitely gets me going when he doesn't listen or teases and we end up doing vanilla that leaves us both unfulfilled. I don't want to scare him away as it would be unconventional me being the dominant. But he is asking to bring in a girl he met at a club which I wouldn't mind after having a thorough discussion but I don't think that will fulfill him or would be a band aid.