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Luxury Lifestyle Submission

A discussion of all things domestic service related.
4 years ago. July 22, 2018 at 10:45 PM

An important step in regards to domestic service submission, no matter if you are a Dominant or an s-type, is to know your style of management. Are you a micro manager or are you a macro manager?

In this context, I would define a micro manager as someone who needs to either receive or give constant feedback regarding a task. For instance, a Dominant has asked a service s-type to make dinner. The Dominant has outlined the basics for dinner - time, how many people will be eating, any sensitivities/allergies/intolerances - and what the main meal should be. A micro management s-type then takes that information and provides constant feedback in regards to the meal - how it is progressing, asking minute clarification questions - such as how should the table be set, how should the food be served, how many courses should there be. A constant updating of the progress, as it happens, up until the event. A macro management s-type would take the information given, monitor the progress of the meal, and only inform the Dominant if there is something major, at the appropriate time. For the macro management s-type, the end goal is a well cooked meal, on the table, at the appropriate time, with enough for everyone, where everyone will enjoy what is being served. For the micro management s-type, his or her focus is on progress of the event, checking in to ensure the Dominant is pleased, that the Dominant is aware of the progress, that there is a constant stream of approval from the Dominant. One is more focused on the end result as instructed, the other is more focused on doing a proper job in progress with the Dominant’s blessing.

Two different styles of management, or two different methodologies for carrying out a task - and both are very valid. On the Dominant’s side, as an example, a Dominant asks a service s-type to make a meal, for four people, three courses with dessert, to be served at regular intervals between the hours of 6:30 PM and 9:30 PM, with the dessert being served no later than 9:00 PM, and coffee/tea served 15 minutes later. Further, the main dish should be a roast chicken, with a mix of fresh and dried herb butters stuffed under the skin of the chicken, so that the potatoes that should be roasted with the chicken absorb the herb butter and none of it goes to waste. The Dominant wants a status update every 15 minutes, with whatever milestones have been achieved along the way. I would qualify this style as very much micromanagement, where every details has been carefully considered, and there is a constant and consistent feedback loop/mechanism. A macro management Dominant would do as in the first example - dinner, served at a certain hour, with X many guests - but neither wants nor needs constant updating and feedback. It is the end goal of good food on the table that the macro management Dominant is primarily concerned with, and not concerned with the route that is taken to get to the final destination. Again, these styles of management are equally valid, just different.

With micro management, the focus is on the progress of the task, where any sort of slight misstep must be caught and corrected by the Dominant, as alerted by the service s-type, all choices and decisions flow through the Dominant. The Dominant is like the captain of the ship, and although it is not his or her hand on the rudder, he or she is able to follow the plotting of the course, preventing any disasters before they become insurmountable, always in control. With macro management, the Dominant only wants to get to the final destination, what course is taken or how that path is plotted is not his or her worry - that is the responsibility of the service s-type. The macro management Dominant has outlined the task, and trusts that the service s-type can make whatever decisions necessary to see the Dominant’s request to fruition. Both Dominants are still in control, and I would say that both Dominants trust the service s-type, but it is a level of comfort, and their style of Domination.

Conflict can arise when you have a service s-type who appreciates a macro management style or approach, and you have a micro management Dominant making the request, or vice versa. The service s-type might have issue with constantly being asked for feedback, or updating of information - he or she might just want to get on with the task at hand. Conversely, the service s-type might be looking for constant feedback and input, and might find working with a silent macro manager to be anxiety inducing. Service s-types who appreciate a macro management approach or style do so because there is a certain freedom in the approach. The service s-type can employ his or her skills and experience to bring their best work forward to please the Dominant. This can at times involve a certain amount of creativity or artistry, and can make for an enjoyable experience. I myself appreciate a more macro management style of service management. If I am being asked to cook for a dinner party, I definitely do want to know numbers, intolerances/sensitivities/allergies, time, and perhaps a theme. After that, I want the freedom to create, to be given the opportunity to display my skills and talents, and most of all, I want the chance to hopefully pleasantly surprise the Dominant in question.

I have worked with micro management style Dominants in the past, and while I did understand what they were looking for, as well doing my best to comply with his or her wishes, I did not enjoy myself to the same degree. For me, working with a Dominant who has a micro management style or approach feels stifling, it feels like I am being set up to fail, so that the Dominant can indeed catch me failing. It feels critical, like there is a lack of trust, though I know logically that is probably far from the case. If that was the case, the Dominant wouldn’t have asked me to take on the task at all.

It is important for both service s-types, and Dominants looking to “employ” the services of a service s-type, to really honestly know what style of service management he or she might either engage in, or appreciate. It is equally important to know how to best work with the opposite style of service management - how best to steer the individual the Dominant or service s-type might be working with. Working with someone with a similar service management style is very easy, but working with someone who might be the very opposite, or even antagonist, that requires employing even greater skills of communication, negotiation, vulnerability, forgiveness, compassion, and empathy. Once you have taken a hard long look at your own style of service management, or service management appreciation, you can then know how best to proceed, whether it is with a task, a contract, or in a lifetime relationship.

Bunnie - Oh wow, this was so enlightening. I always knew I had a certain style that seemed to resonate with me better, both within how I do things and how I recieve leadership... I just never quite knew what it was. Having it broken down in such a clear and precise way makes it seem so obvious now lol. As always, this is such an informative blog, and much appreciated. Thank you, UNG, nice to see you back :)
4 years ago
UnrulyNerdGirl​(sub female) - Thank you my friend - good to see you as well :-)
4 years ago

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