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Longer-Term D/s Considerations

Things unseen often affect relationships. This is a (perhaps infrequent) chance to look at some of them through the lens of a decade or more of online experiences with a variety of submissive partners.
3 months ago. January 8, 2024 at 1:20 PM

The Cage, sometimes seems almost over-stuffed with new submissives suffering from broken parts  from wannabe Doms wanting first bites out of the new member.

How can there be so many cretins masquerading as Dominants, inflicting emotional hurts on our newbies?

We all know that The Cage is notorious for its pool of  sharks, ever circling for unaware newbies, hoping to pressure one into nude pictures or some other unwanted introduction to "being a good submissive".

Since the staff hasn't come up with an effective tool to clean house of these low-lifes,  perhaps more of us on both sides of the slash, might try reaching out when we see an unfamiliar new profile. 

A few simple sentences of welcome, and reminders that the SUB controls who she/he responds to, and sets the limits on what is acceptable, and that taking it slow might prevent emotional injury,  might be all that's needed to prevent those broken wings.  

Reaching out like that might even keep a few more newbies here, instead of them leaving the Cage to escape  from the shark pack!  

Comments welcome...

Literate Lycan​(dom male) - I applaud your desire to protect the community. When I first joined the Cage I was welcomed by a very nice, well-meaning submissive - simply as a Welcome committee. It was a very nice act and it helped me integrate into this nice place and she wasn’t trying to chain herself to me.

I would add that all parties control communications, not just the sub. D/s/switch/“kinky other” all control who they talk to and none of us owe anyone a response, but a courteous response isn’t out of the question. We all are responsible for setting limits. But we should all respect the lines of communications as we introduce ourselves to new individuals or receive new communications.

Your point on taking slow is gold! It’s often a topic in blogs and constant reminder. But so many individuals continue to leap in head first without slowing down and then come back hurt with broken wings because they dove in too deep too fast to something that ultimately did not fit. It isn’t always that the “Dominant” is a predator -but that neither party really knew what they were getting into. Each and every dynamic is unique - sometimes with similarities, but it’s own unique recipe for success or failure. It is always best to go slow and ask plenty of questions.

Thank you for posting, good sir. Have a great day!
3 months ago
Sky dancer 51 - As always you wrote a great blog.
When I came here for the first time almost 6 years ago you were one of the first ones to say hi to me and you have been a good friend and protector since then.
Lots of Love Sky 😘❤️😘
3 months ago
CapnRick​(dom male) - Thanks to you both, LL and Sky. Means a lot to me!
3 months ago
SubmissiveScorpion​(sub female){Sir Bandit} - All of this… But I do think it would be helpful for us to be able to put some of these cretins on blast publicly… Because some of them are 100% repeat offenders…

The truly special ones give themselves away in their own blog/forum posts but there are PLENTY more who lurk silently in the shadows.
3 months ago
flitter'fly​(sub female) - i needed this this evening. Thank You Mr. Rick.
3 days ago
CapnRick​(dom male) - Glad my thoughts were of some help, Ms Fly...Hugs.
3 days ago

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