Thoughts of an orphan

One of my deepest beliefs has always been... that I will be abandoned. That I will never TRULY be loved. Yes, people may love me for a while but then they will get bored of me. It has happened many times before. So much so, I started rejecting them to avoid the ultimate rejection that I thought was inevitable.

The Domme I am seeking will not abandon me. She will love and accept the neediest weakest parts of me. Is this too much to ask?

Maybe it is, I don't know... 

Your mommy didn’t love you enough. That’s sad, but it’s not what I want...

I remember a woman I found attractive saying this to me when I made my submissive side a little too obvious to her. This was years ago and the truth of me as a submissive was something I felt so ashamed of.

in truth I have always been ashamed of my sexual and emotional neediness, the fact that I need a strong woman to tell me what to do, to look after me, to nurture and nourish me.

im old enough now to put this need out to the universe. Is anyone listening?