Is there a difference?
Of late, I have given great thought to this. You see, for some time now I have found myself thinking of this person in great fondness. We've know one another for some time and over that time, my fondness has changed to something else. Today I have finally admitted to myself it is indeed love.
Now you have to understand that "love" to me is something different than what most people think. It is not a possessive emotion, seeking to own this person. For me there is no "one true love". The best way I can describe what I think of Love is Sean Connery and Christian Slatter's lines about Love from the movie The Name of the Rose:
"Adso of Melk: Master? Have you ever been in love?
William of Baskerville: In love? Yeah, many times.
Adso of Melk: You were?
William of Baskerville: Yes, of course. Aristotle, Ovid, Vergil...
Adso of Melk: No, no, no. I meant with a...
William of Baskerville: Oh. Ah. Are you not confusing love with lust?
Adso of Melk: Am I? I don't know. I want only her own good. I want her to be happy. I want to save her from her poverty.
William of Baskerville: Oh, dear.
Adso of Melk: Why "oh dear"?
William of Baskerville: You *are* in love."
Seeing this scene in the theater, years ago altered my view on Love. Back then I, indeed, confused Love with Sex. I would often tell women I loved them get to laid. But this scene showed me how wrong I was. Yes Sex was fun but Love....Love was something to cherish. Something to honor.
But still, something confused me: What is the difference between Loving someone one and Being In Love with someone? Does being In Love require the act of Love be returned? Before my change of view on the emotion, I often fought with the demon of Unrequited Love. But, after my conversion, I understood this was a thing with no power. That Loving somone was my own emotion and it was foolish of me to need them to return it. Not only foolish but selfish.
Still, when I spoke with others about this, often some of them would ask: "But are you In Love with them?"
Then and still now that question confuses me. I don't understand the difference. Is there one? Does my philosophy of Love require a difference? Is this something I really want to think about?
After all my years and all my thinking and feeling.....
I simply don't know.
