Ok darlings, you’ll want to settle in for this one, the topic arose during coffee talk with my female relatives. Being born without a filter seems to be a genetic quirk of my family and it only gets worse as I get older.
So obviously, coffee talk can be traumatic or hilarious, depending what the mood of the day is. Today, objectively speaking, was both.
My mom, her mom, and my aunt all converged on the kitchen of my mother’s home to discuss various things, coffee and homemade pumpkin pound cake passed around. My sister and I sitting with these three cackling women as, for whatever reasoning they came up with, they discussed my aunt’s upcoming marriage. Or rather, how to make this marriage healthier than the first.
Aside from not marrying an abusive alcoholic narcissist, which her fiancé is not, they were giving her tips to try and “keep him.”
Here we have the issue.
Of the group present, I am the only one who hasn’t been through a divorce. I feel that this is mostly because I am almost fanatic about proper communication, discussing everything when they come up, and not pretending he’s ever been in charge.
Why waste the energy?
So they then bring up her “kinky side” and how she should leave that alone for this new opportunity at marriage. At this point I want to point out their definition of kinky is very different from mine and likely the majority of the people likely to read this.
While they’re talking, and my tongue is beginning to bleed from the amount of biting it I am doing, they turn to me. This bodes ill.
They asked me my thoughts on revealing her kinks, and they seemed confused when I asked why he didn’t know already? They’ve known each other for years, been engaged since they reconnected, shouldn’t that be a thing they’d discuss?
So they asked when I told my preferences to my partner.
Like the second day I knew him, maybe not expressly the gory details, and not the full terminology, but he got the gist in “vanilla terms” when we got together. This shocked them, and I became very sad for them,
Communication means more for those of us here in this community than the so called “normal relationship” people.
WE ARE NOT THE SAME.
