From a young age I understood things that most adults took years to comprehend. I learned early probably because of all the trauma I had to watch myself and others go through. The hardest thing for me to ever understand is that sometimes, bad people hurt really good people. What's even harder is watching someone you love and care about hold on to that pain for years to come.
My sister was one such person. I raised her with my mom. When my mom couldn't be there I always was, until one day I began my own journey. When I would always visit or check in with my sister she was so happy and ready to face life, then one day she met a boy, and everything changed. I watched this beautiful bright treasure turn into this wilted mess of what she once was. When he left the picture I saw a part of her come back, but there was also a new part that came with her. My baby sister was no longer the same.
It can be said that most people are never the same after going through something like she did. For many this is true. Well, I watched until I couldn't watch anymore. Then one day, at a family get together, I pulled her aside and asked her to come with me. She did, and I took her to one of my favorite spots. A little oasis untouched by the outside world yet. It had a creek that went for miles, with branches that magically bowed over a small walking path along side it, providing much needed relief from the blazing heat of the day. The sound of the water bubbling gently over the rocks was soothing and relaxing. The vibrant greens, and vivid colors of the flowers made for delights to the senses. I sat her down , made her face me looked her square in the eye, and told her, " ash ma cash I love you with my whole heart, and I hate seeing the bitterness darkening your eyes. I know what you have been through. I have been there myself , but babes you got to let it go."
When I tell you the waterworks came they came, but I didn't intervene, because this release was exactly what I wanted from her. With the waterworks came all the rage she had been holding back, she screamed and yelled, first at me, then at the horror of what her life had been. She raged and cried , and yelled until she couldn't anymore. When she had finally let all the rage out, all that was left was an exhausted little sister who was bone weary and tired. I moved close and just hugged her to me, and while silent tears tracked down her cheeks I reminded her, that sometimes we have to go through bad things to be reminded of the good things in our lives.
I also said I knew this was something she didn't want to hear at the time, but she was going to hear it all the same. Sometimes we have to cry and scream and rage at the cruelty and injustice we face, we have to because we have to let it out. Keeping it inside changes us and makes us bitter, and we loose all that innocence that keeps us beautiful. Places like this, are safe places to do just that. It was why I had brought her there. To help her let go. I also reminded her that its ok to cry and to feel, that is normal. Its how we release the pressures of this world so we can just breath again. Its ok to hate someone for a little while, its definitely ok to never forget, but don't let the pain from those moment hold on to you. You hold it for a moment and then let it be. Forgive yourself, forgive them, but remember the lesson as you move forward.
I don't know if my sister still visits that same spot, but I do know that later in life when I became a bitter person, it was her turn to pull me aside and remind me of the same lesson I had imparted on her, while showing me a few new things a long the way, like meditation and selfcare. I found me again, and learned so much more about myself along the way. I found peace, and happiness, and love from those surrounding me. You don't need anyone by your side to be happy, but what you do need is inner peace and self love. I hope that the authors of all these posts of pain and sorrow, can someday go to their own safe spots, and let all the rage and hurt inside out. Just scream and cry until you can't anymore, and then take a deep breath, forgive, remember the lesson, and move on with your life. Love and hope are still very much yours for the taking.
Its easier said than done I know, but I promise you all, that it is so very worth it when you finally do. All my love to you.
SomonesSoulmate
