lambsone's thoughts

Just things I think about or feel from time to time either from experience or observation.

I had to break in a new Gynocologist recently because my favorite one retired. I haven't seen one since 2019, but since I got interested in bdsm again last August, the possibility of the physical connection at some point, necessitated (spell?) that I make sure all was still functional.

So, she entered the exam room, sat down, then asked what she could do for me. I explained that I was starting to date again at just shy of 72 and wanted to be sure that nothing was wrong that would impede having sex.

She asked why I wanted to have sex, but the tone of her voice seemed to say "Good grief, why are you even contemplating sex at your age." I said because I want companionship and everything that goes along with it. That answer seemed to kind of mullify her for the moment.

Then she asked "Do you even have a libido?" By this time I want to scream "Lady are you here to help or make me feel like a societal cast off?" But I kept my thoughts to myself and answered, yes but not as strong as I used to.

I can still climb the pleasure mountain, but when I get to the top, instead if gleefully sliding down the trail of bliss, I seem to quietly fizzle out at the top. However I get enough pleasure from the climb, that I just accept the fizzle as the new orgasmic experience. LOL!

I told her that I was having trouble getting a dildo in me. She said, doesn't it hurt? I said yes. So she explained that after menopause the vagina shrinks due to lack of blood flow and also because of lack of sex. I have never had much sex anyway in my life so I was naturally a prime candidate for pain.

I'm also a victim of scoliosis and my research revealed that many women with scoliosis experience discomfort during sex. Yeah me. Now I'm starting to question God and why He's done me dirty all my life. Anyway, I digress.

By the end of the appointment, I was just looking forward to getting out of there and back to my little fantasy world. She mentioned that I should use an oil based lube like olive oil or vegetable oil, instead of water based. So Lover's Lane, I guess you've been replaced by the grocery store supply chain.

In retrospect, I'm glad I don't have to see her for another year. She never cracked a smile and I've had to do some self talk to repair my ego as a legitimate woman since. But I will survive because that's what we women do.

The End.

Susie Q{💙} - *HUGS*
I really hate health professionals like that!

My doc and I laugh a lot about the shenanigans (his word) I participate in. His only interest is keeping me healthy and able to do those shenanigans. I’d look for someone more personable and who cares about getting you where you wanna be. ❤️

3 weeks ago

lambsone - True. I've never known a gynecologist who discouraged sex. It just seemed weird to me. She's in her early 60's, so it would seem like she would celebrate an older woman still wanting to have sex in spite of the challenges. I think I'll do some interviewing this year and see if I can find someone more encouraging as you mentioned.

3 weeks ago

Squeedoodle(sub trans woman){Taken} - Ugh, that's messed up. That is NOT how a doctor of any kind should be talking to their patient. I'm sorry you had/have to deal with that. >:(

Everything I learned in classes on health and sex that I took after high school pretty much confirmed that there really isn't a set age when people stop being interested in sex, intimacy, and connection. For some people they're never interested, and for others they never lose interest. Anyone who says sex is a young person's game is just regurgitating myths they heard and uncritically accepted as "facts."

Sorry to go off in your comments, it just aggrevates me when people, especially medical professionals, try to push these silly, overly simplistic, and just plain WRONG narratives. There may be some adjustments needed, but you're never too old to have sex and/or feel sexy. Screw that.

3 weeks ago

Sweet Ginger(sub female){⚓ } - Health "professionals" should be in place to help you not make you feel bad that you made an appointment..when reading this, I had a bad vibe about her when you said she questioned why your there and why you wanted to have sex..what the heck??!!
Good for you that your healthy enough to still want and enjoy it! If I were you, I would consider seeing another gynecologist, I can't believe that she was so rude and ignorant.

3 weeks ago

lambsone - Yes I agree with all of you. I can just imagine how much more helpful and fruitful the conversation would have been, had the doctor had a more positive outlook.

3 weeks ago

MK' - My Mum is around that age and my parents still have a very active sex life so it definitely is possible. It seems odd she would be so unsupported of your decisions. It's not like you told her you want to self harm. I think I'd be finding a new gyno.

3 weeks ago

lambsone - Very true. Thanks for sharing about your parents. It gives me hope.

3 weeks ago

I'mME - @lambsome,

Screw her and the stick up her butt. Find another doctor,please ma'am. Got a whole year. You use whatever lube give you the most comfortable feeling, unless the is non compatible. Water based was working ? Or no? Have you tried different ones? Unless it's none of my business. 😂

3 weeks ago

A Minx - Unfortunately, and since covid hit, 3 of my healthcare providers have retired. It's been very difficult finding the "good" ones even though I used to work in medical, so much has changed over the last ~15 years. It's been difficult and I've had to switch and redouble my efforts but have found Drs. who are empathetic, respectful and compassionate too. Don't settle for anything less dear Lambsone! Talk to friends in your area, family members and read the reviews on Drs you might be interested in taking care of your health. Good luck and find a good fit, it's worth it!

3 weeks ago

lambsone - I'll definitely be looking for a better one. I'm also going to ask my friends if they like theirs and get some recommendations.

3 weeks ago

Literate Lycan(dom male) - I'm just aghast! How old was this child? I am assuming quite young or very jaded. Concur with the above comments on finding the right doctor for you. She is NOT a good doctor for anyone. I wasn't there and I feel offended by her questions.

Not that I ever asked, but my parents were "actively active" right up until the month before my father passed (81). He was in a great deal of pain and he still felt it his obligation to my mother and she to him. I know plenty of men and women in their late 80s and almost 90 who are staying healthy enough to remain in the game. (Of course, we should all grin for when this "doctor" you saw hits the ripe age of 55 and realizes there is life after 50, and 60, and 70. It reminds me of a very young Mick Jagger making the claim "There is nothing sadder than a rock n' roll star above the age of 30" or something like that. He's been reminded he made that comment every decade since he turned 30.)

1 week ago

lambsone - I made a point of asking how old she was LL. What surprised me was that she's in her early 60's. I love all of my doctors, but every once in a while I get one that is not up to par. My primary care doctor is one that caters to the geriatric crowd. Family doctors weren't cutting after a certain age. Thanks for sharing about your parents.

1 week ago

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lambsone

lambsone's thoughts

Weird Gyno Appointment