Oh... I think I get it now.
I thought my mind was some unconquerable entity for so long, but apparently all it takes is trust, one weak spot, and an active decision to let myself enjoy this, and I finally tasted that "subspace."
Burying my face in her chest, her hand doing that thing, her lips at my ear guiding me along.... She knows what she's damned doing. I only hesitated once at her words, then I decided to let myself fall, damn it! I felt like I was being hypnotized. My brain went to a grainy place where my monologue was finally, blessedly, shut up. Getting that feeling after envisioning and idolizing what I thought it could be has rocked my world a little bit.
And then she decided that moment was the perfect time to start training me. I get chills thinking about it. It's a simple one, just a countdown to cum, but letting her do it is probably the best part of it all. Never before have I been excited to give someone the keys to my mind, because I trust she'll break me down and build me back stronger.
Eck, this post reeks of "new sub," but oh well, I'm happy!