D/s is a beautiful dynamic shared between two or more humans.
Commands, manhandling, physical or psychological play and sexual gratification (if you choose to have sexual interaction as part of your D/s), is part of the end game of building a connection, once established.
Where it begins is with trust.
Trust that must be earned. Not just by the D-type or left side of the slash, but by the s-type and right side of the slash also.
To build trust, requires vulnerability. To be vulnerable, requires enormous trust. From both parties. To each other. With each other.
As humans, we build up defences over a lifetime of less than desirable experiences, trauma events, toxic actions of others, and so many additional negative or non-positive experiences that add to the need for defences.
These defences are constructed over a lifetime, layer by layer, to shield our insecurities and to guard our softest parts from the debilitating harshness of the world we exist in.
These defences are not just merely walls. They are akin to a fortress of solitude, holding at bay the doubts and fears that are whispered in the shadows and come to us in our dreams, that become rampant nightmares.Our brains do amazing jobs of self defence.
Firstly by building barriers.
Secondly by repressing memories of things too hard to deal with.
Thirdly by teaching us what we will no longer accept from others.
To build trust and to be vulnerable with another human, is often hard. Sometimes it even feels impossible. However when you find the human(s) that you can accomplish that amazing level of connection with, you can once again learn to live and love, rather than just exist and deflect.
Trust and vulnerability is where it begins.
Some of the hardest things to do in this world when you have been hurt, but rewarding beyond description, when you discover the human(s) that allow this to occur with you.
