When I was introduced to BDSM relationships, I realized they had existed probably for all of human history. Religion and Western Culture distort this and BDSM itself greatly, and if anything, an incredible hypocrisy is always present. Using codes and euphemisms, even denial can mask the fact that many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marital friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her." "Love her," I thought I was, and now I know without a doubt I need to be a Dominant, not some preconceived idea that we are to live as equals: we are not only one can be a Dom and one a sub at a time, but, it is perfectly fine if switching is desired at least now and then.
So quantum physics reports that plants use superposition when engaged in photosynthesis, and migratory birds use quantum physics to navigate when they migrate. I suspect it won't be long before it is discovered that humans determine their soul mate using quantum processes in our brains. Maybe even love at first sight?
I sure could use a soul mate at this point in my life. I even was hoping we are already entangled at the quantum level.
Why irony hits so hard Irony works because it exposes the gap between:
what we expect what reality delivers And that gap is where humor, frustration, or insight lives.
I have been affected by irony too often in my life. When things turn out well, that is great, but when things go wrong. I become perplexed and confused. I like to reflect on my early teenage years: I tried to imitate pop culture: Blue suede shoes, black leather jackets, playing guitar, and singing. Yet the amazing thing was? Every girl I liked didn't like me, and the girls I didn't like liked me. This situation didn't clear up until later, when I began performing regularly in New York City with a band I created. Like a child in a candy shop, I wound up causing problems out of ignorance. Eventually, I had normal experiences of marriage, divorce, children, and remarriage. My marriage to my late wife was more than forty years. Most of that time, I got by in life by making mostly the right assumptions and decisions. Here I am, old, still functioning well, living the life of a widower. Every day, I discover something about that situation and something about myself. The most significant self-revelation? Despite some faux claim, I wanted to be a hermit; I truly believe I am not meant to be alone, but I am.
I have a great deal of interests and experience to share, and I have softened my hard-line misanthropy; like a swimmer putting one toe in a cold lake, I want to swim with people and seek a compatible companion to share this phase of my life.
My priority is to find a lover/muse asap. I suppose I am mostly a Dom, but can switch to a sub for the right woman, for the purpose of learning, and as a potential way to make the unknown woman content and happy.
Not having a loving touch is horrible. And not being able to explore my kinky side probably is worse.
You can increase your sexual pleasure in several ways. This site TheCage has many doors leading to that knowledge. I will start with the one sure way that is universal.
Abstain until you feel like Mount Penatuboe about to explode.
Next, you and your lover tease each other until you are propelled to embrace one another and fall on the floor.
If you and your lover have a disagreement, hold out for a reconciliation until make-up sex is the only option.
And finally? List all the kinks, fetishes, habits, and experiments listed on this site and work on one at a time or as many as you can at a time. Focus on what you have never done with your lover or what your lover has done with you.
"Albert Einstein had an active, often unconventional personal life marked by multiple affairs, two marriages, and a view that monogamy was an artificial, "bitter" social construct. He famously quipped, "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love," and maintained roughly 10 intimate relationships outside his marriages." the equation ? Sex=love x pleasure2
I have one big secret for life as we age: use it or you lose it. OK, it isn't original. Joints that work together as I play guitar are working better since I practice each day. Singing voice has regained some range. My worn hip is even bothering me less because I cut the lawn (careful not to overdo it). My senses are good as I pet my cat and dog several times a day. A neighbor I did not know well, and I have conversations with now, and her husband, too, squeak me into socializing a minuscule bit. I compensate for a rusty drawing hand with old artists' tricks. Most of all, I use my brain for all of the above, plus a chess lesson every day and a theoretical physics video every day. My favorites include Feynman because he is so eloquent to understand. One big fear.
My greatest fear is that as the hourglass dribbles grains of sand, the longer I lack a lover, the more sensuality and sexuality evaporate. I believe I can only go so long without a muse before I disappear from life.
The "Seven Grandfathers seem mute on the subject. Image borrowed from Google search.
2 months ago. Wednesday, April 22, 2026 at 6:51 PM
Recently, I was told that since I was married three times and had a love life throughout my life, now that I am seventy-eight and my wife has died, I should not seek another companion/lover because I have had more than some people in this world. I know what I had was fulfilling, and I have been grateful, but should I give up and accept my fate as the song lyrics state (Is that All there Is?).
My kids and stepkids especially do not wish me well. We tried to raise them with rules and teach them responsibility, while the other parents let them do as they wished without much guidance. So what do you think about their attitude? No surprise.
I intended to post this in the morning, but I am hoping when I wake, I will be more optimistic than when I got up this morning. One nostalgic day a week is enough. Some Days I miss her more than others. I selected some photos of her face to use as a model in order to paint an image of her. She always called me Daddy, and when I read blogs on this site in which subs refer to their Dom as Daddy, it can sadden me. There is a hole in my heart and my life.
Mt dear blog readers, I have good and bad to report concerning my health checks yesterday, no surprise.
I have several arthritic joints, but my hip surprised the doctors because I keep moving, unlike many of their patients who complain and want fast answers. Mind over matter works for me. "I keep moving." I play guitar to overcome arthritis in my fingers (LOL). I eat lemons to keep on singing LOL. I have a strong will, that is how I avoided a heart transplant from 2005 - 2010. Today, the CT scan of my aorta makes me a little nervous, but like other signs of aging, I "keep keeping on".
My lover and muse, wherever you are, I am not impatient, but do not wait too long to come to me. I need you.
The idea of a domestic sub who can help me in everyday life was presented to me when I was weighed down as a caregiver for eight years as my wife declined. It sounded great until the woman who introduced me to BDSM tricked me into giving her money ( some others did as well). I truly need a domestic sub now, as my housework is not what it used to be. I only just began to appreciate BDSM when things became more critical in my caregiver role.
If I were to meet a woman who was a submissive, domestic, and kinky BDSM woman, I would be overjoyed. I would work hard to make our relationship work, probably fall in love, and practice more kinky things and offer her what good things I could.
The major piece of my life that is missing is making love. Not just sex, not just being satisfied, but the wonderful effect on the human body when engaged in making love on a regular basis. Religion has only two justifications when criticizing making love: 1) Unwanted children, but birth control has that covered if a person is smart, and 2) STDs, and at this time, open source knowledge is readily available to avoid them, and healthcare can cure most forms. The health benefits acquired by making love at least once or twice a week, even in old age, are well known.
HYPOCRACY. I know firsthand how duplicitous some religious people are in depicting themselves as "celibate" and abstaining, knowing full well that state of being is a myth, and even if a human tries to adhere to those guidelines, they will fail, in my opinion. We just are not made to not make love.
I miss making love so very much that I feel I am being tortured.
