The Culture that has been here all the time

Yes, I have only had sex briefly more than a year ago with a FWB, and before that time? No sex for at least four years. What have I learned? I have learned that I can live without having a lover, even if it will not be a good thing. No lover will shorten my lifespan, leading to days when I am frustrated and creating an uneasy emotional atmosphere every day. It is not that I like this state of life, but it is because it seems I have no choice. Or rather, I have chosen to stay with my wife, who is ill and not able to have sex, and honor my commitment of 'till death do us part. I can not even go out on the prowel of the bars and clubs seeking a suitable woman to have sex with and leave my wife alone. That would only be a partial solution anyway. I would like an emotional connection to a lover, not just a brief encounter, even if the relationship is tenuous. Still, I would infuse all the love into the relationship that I can if I somehow find myself in a relationship.