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Andron​(neither male)Verified Account

The Culture that has been here all the time

When I was introduced to BDSM relationships, I realized they had existed probably for all of human history. Religion and Western Culture distort this and BDSM itself greatly, and if anything, an incredible hypocrisy is always present. Using codes and euphemisms, even denial can mask the fact that many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marital friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her." "Love her," I thought I was, and now I know without a doubt I need to be a Dominant, not some preconceived idea that we are to live as equals: we are not only one can be a Dom and one a sub at a time, but, it is perfectly fine if switching is desired at least now and then.
9 months ago. Friday, April 25, 2025 at 4:49 PM

Here, I have openly expressed my frustration at not having a lover to engage in sex with since my wife has serious cognitive issues and is now asexual.

I don't blame her, it isn't on purpose, it is her illness. Some men divorce or at least place their non-functioning significant other in a care facility. "In sickness and or in health, 'till death do us part" is what I promised her forty years ago.

Go back to my youth for a clue about my temperament: I fell in love with every girl I felt an attraction for, like in the TV show "Dobie Gillis*". It seemed all the girls I was attracted to were not attracted to me. That was until I became a singer-songwriter in Greenwich Village, NYC, in the 1960s. Then I seemed to fall in love with a new girl every week, and most of them found me agreeable. Yet today, at my age of 77, I still have a strong libido and can easily fall back into that mode of sexual adventure. That is that my forty years plus of monogamy isn't working any longer.

If I had a social life, I could see myself mingling with several potential women to love and make love with, and see what happens. Just a fantasy now.

 

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