In these days since my wife passed away and I remain in isolation, I have had time to consider many things, including why we received almost no help from friends and family. I conclude that maybe I wasn't the best guy I could have been, but my wife didn't deserve to be abandoned.
I go over my life almost continuously, uncovering things I could have done differently or better. After all these years, most of the discoveries have long passed when I could have made amends, apologized, or implemented a correction. I suppose the best thought is I am reaping what I have sown, whether I recognized what I could have done better or not.
I know there were times when people made incorrect assumptions about me, but I only learned about them long after the damage had been done, and there was no chance for clarification.
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