Hello Friends,
I few posts back I wrote about an open relationship and Polyamorous possibilities for me. That was altogether wrong. Those of you who questioned whether I and my wife could agree to have an open relationship were correct: She is not cognisant of what that means and if she is asked if she is married to me, she says, "No." Her mind is totally or nearly totally compromised. To have a truly polyamorous relationship she would need to be in total agreement and an active partner. So I was completely wrong about this.
It has been a year since I set out to find a lover or even a friend to partially fulfill what my wife is incapable of doing: Being a Partner and a lover.
I failed miserably. In actuality, it cost me a great deal financially because I believed several scammers were going to become the FWB I sought. I was recruited by a Dominatrix to be trained as a Master Dom and that has had dubious results. Allegedly I have two girls provided by her to help me take care of my home and me but that has not materialized. Circumstances according to her have led to delays in getting them here to help me. But all was not lost.
I learned in retrospect that my wife (who is impaired) of 39 years is a submissive woman and I was wrong to give her too much freedom because she interpreted that as my lack of loving her. So the Dominatrix introduced me to aspects of my past that were there and I didn't recognize them.
So I now know what M/S is in BDSM means and I am making adjustments in my life accordingly. I will not replace my wife (or end my caregiving for her as long as she is alive) that is impossible. When I meet the submissive woman who can fill the voids in my life I will know it, and plan to work on a relationship with her accordingly.
