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AndronVerified Account

The Culture that has been here all the time

When I studied to acquire my Master's status I discovered the M/S relationship existed probably for all the history of humans. Religion and Western Culture distort this greatly. Using codes and euphemisms even denial masks it presents the fact many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marriage friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her" "Love her" I thought I was and did now I know without a doubt I need to be a master, not some preconceived idea we are to live as equals.
1 year ago. February 29, 2024 at 11:04 PM

Hello Friends,

Like swimming, driving, or riding a bicycle, we do not forget how to have sex, but the longer we go without it, we forget how to make love. Why do I say this? Making love is about knowing your partner intimately, which takes time, communication, practice, and TRUST.

In my position to keep what I may be losing for this three-year dry spell and not having a partner to get to know and trust, all I can do is fantasize (not in a trivial sense, more akin to the Pcyhocybernetics that I wrote about in a previous post).

Aging is another factor working against me. It is an invisible enemy that creeps into me while I remain unaware of its effects. In the song Suicide is Painless (a fav the MASH theme) Johnny Mandel (music) and Michael Altman  (at 14 years old in five minutes)(lyrics)

" . . . The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger, watch it grin . . . "

No, I won't give up without a fight, but we don't live forever, do we?

I am 76

"I asked my doctors why so many people die at my age 76? They al lsaid, "That is normal". So why am I still alive and would rather be dead instead of so stressed as a sole caregiver with out a single bit of a damn social life. Do not dare ask me what I do for fun that word is not in my vocabulary"

https://www.famousbirthdays.com/deceased/age/76.html

AndronVerified Account - I have too many doctors. I don't lack healthcare. I do not lack counseling. I lack help with caregiving, so I do not have a life worth anything. Nothing is changing, and nothing will change. Sometimes, we have to face the reality of our circumstances. There is no hope, no help, and no people involved to help. That is my reality. Don't be concerned. I will try to stay alive to take care of my wife since I am the only one who seems to want her to be cared for.
1 year ago
AndronVerified Account - I have been on suicide watch three times, and I am still checked weekly. Everyone I thought was a friend I met online took money from me to help but did not. I go through a rollercoaster ride: some days are okay, but others are bad. I live to ensure my wife (8 years my junior) is careed for safety. I just get very tired and then my spirits drop.
1 year ago
Master Rob - Hi, i know these are hard times and that both you and your wife are suffering. I am sorry for this. I do not know your exact circumstances, but i wonder if Medicare can help, and /or the VA. Are you a veteran by chance? Please also let your doctors know of your feelings. Perhaps they know of additional help and services for you. There is always a suicidal help line that you may call , 988 from any phone, and be connected with a trained counselor. Further, there may come a point, where your wife will need and require constant round the clock attention and care, where no one person can adequately do this. There is always help and options. Please keep fighting…….you are not alone.
1 year ago
AndronVerified Account - many doctors. I don't lack healthcare. I do not lack counseling. I lack help with caregiving, so I do not have a life worth anything. Nothing is changing, and nothing will change. Sometimes, we have to face the reality of our circumstances. There is no hope, no help, and no people involved to help. That is my reality. Don't be concerned. I will try to stay alive to take care of my wife since I am the only one who seems to want her to be cared for.

I have been on VA suicide watch three times, and I am still checked weekly. Everyone I thought was a friend I met online took money from me to help but did not. I go through a rollercoaster ride: some days are okay, but others are bad. I live to ensure my wife (8 years my junior) is cared for safely. I get very tired, and then my spirits drop.
1 year ago

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