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Andron​(neither male)Verified Account

The Culture that has been here all the time

When I was introduced to BDSM relationships, I realized they had existed probably for all of human history. Religion and Western Culture distort this and BDSM itself greatly, and if anything, an incredible hypocrisy is always present. Using codes and euphemisms, even denial can mask the fact that many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marital friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her." "Love her," I thought I was, and now I know without a doubt I need to be a Dominant, not some preconceived idea that we are to live as equals: we are not only one can be a Dom and one a sub at a time, but, it is perfectly fine if switching is desired at least now and then.
1 year ago. Friday, March 15, 2024 at 10:34 AM

Hello Friends,

Many of you know me as a 76-year-old newbie to BDSM who can act like a 16-year-old schoolboy at times. I inadvertently seemed to have stepped on some toes and mashed my toes, too. First, my Dominatrix (Teacher, Coach, and business partner but not my Misstress) is a fantastic person and has kept me out of trouble when I listen to her. I have come to the conclusion she is my BDSM guardian as well. Meeting friends isn't hard, but connecting to a submissive woman (in my case) is not so easy. On my own, things have not gone well. In private messaging, I can elaborate, but I am not writing today to create a stir of any kind. There are many online information sources to navigate, but "hook-up" sites are the most treacherous.

Even if I abandon a search for an intimate friend, there is deception, trickery, and fraud when seeking a platonic friendship. My teacher/coach warned me constantly, but finally, I got it. Even a young female neighbor I spoke to warned me when I asked about meeting people online. She may be overly dramatic but when I asked her, "How many people will I meet online searching for a friend who are to be trusted?" She replied, "None of them." So, since moving here a year and a half ago, I still exist like a stranger in a strange land: How can I make potential friends?

The old-fashioned ways seem best: Have someone you trust to introduce you. Someday, I may be able to engage in a club, an activity, or the senior center and socialize. I must continue my caregiving and be patient now with the advice I give to myself, too.

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